


The Long Dozen

by bella (bella_azzurri)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Action & Romance, Angst, F/M, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-10-04 00:17:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20461910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bella_azzurri/pseuds/bella
Summary: Kathryn Janeway and Chakotay attempt to find their way back to each other after the difficulties of the last year of their journey and their sudden return to the Alpha Quadrant. Meanwhile, someone sees an opportunity in Voyager and its Chief Engineer to carry out their plans.Mainly J/C, with some P/T thrown in.





	1. May

**Author's Note:**

> This entire thing is unbetaed, apologies in advance for all the mistakes.
> 
>   1. Assumption is Voyager returned to the Alpha Quadrant sometime in May, based on 3 online stardate converters.
>   2. Janeway and Torres’ relationship (or lack thereof) was something that really bothered me. We’ve seen some decent glimpses during the latter seasons which hinted at something more, so I wanted to expand on it. Kate Mulgrew also mentioned in the Star Trek Voyager companion that she wished she saw more of Janeway and Torres' friendship.
>   3. Torres’ human heritage is just as important as her Klingon one, so in this I’ve tried to add a small added dimension of being Latina.

The doors to sickbay hissed open for Captain Janeway. She nodded to the Doctor in his office and made her way to the only occupied biobed, where B’Elanna lay propped up with Tom standing by her side, holding a small bundle.

“Captain!” B’Elanna called.

Kathryn made her way to the new family, smiling. Tom tilted the bundle slightly as she approached, and she felt her heart swell at the first sight of the newborn.

“Oh B’Elanna, Tom, she’s perfect,” she said. Tom beamed with pride and B’Elanna offered a tired smile.

“Do you want to hold her?” B’Elanna asked.

She passed a glance between both parents, “May I?”

“Of course!” Tom said, before gently placing the bundle in her arms. Kathryn peered down at the sleeping newborn, a soft smile replacing the initial apprehension.

“Her name is Miral Kathryn Paris,” B’Elanna said.

Kathryn’s eyes snapped up to the new parents, unshed tears clear on her face. B’Elanna and Tom exchanged a look before B’Elanna spoke again, “Tom can take her.”

Kathryn relinquished Miral to her father, who immediately wandered off in the direction of the Doctor’s office to allow the two women their privacy. Kathryn moved closer to the biobed, reaching for B’Elanna’s hand, who met her halfway.

B’Elanna spoke first, “Captain I want you to know how important you have been to me. Tom and I don’t know what awaits us with his family.”

“I’m sure his parents…” Kathryn started, wanting to alleviate the new mother’s fears, before B’Elanna waved her free hand to silence her.

“My mother is gone. You’ve been our,” she glanced over at Tom, talking to the Doctor who now had Miral in his arms, “_my _ constant, more than a captain, and,” she said softly, taking a deep breath, “I don’t want to lose that. I can’t.”

Kathryn smiled, “You know I’ll do everything to help you, B’Elanna.”

“Tom and I talked about how we want you in our, and Miral’s lives. _ Tita_, is what I called my human grandmother,” she finished, referring to the Spanish abbreviation.

Kathryn’s eyes widened with realisation as to where the conversation was headed, “B’Elanna, are you sure?”

“I had no one until Voyager, Captain. You gave me a chance, even in the face of mutiny. You believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. Everything I am now, is thanks to you,” she said softly.

Kathryn knew then how hard it was for the half-Klingon to acknowledge how she felt. When B’Elanna awakened following the incident with the Barge of the Dead, the half-Klingon immediately reached for her, seeking maternal comfort. B’Elanna’s experience worried Kathryn, and even more so when she fell pregnant. Kathryn had been battling her own demons, but as a Captain she never stopped keeping an eye out for her crew. Now, she wished she had noticed how much was going with B’Elanna, and her apprehension with their sudden return to Earth. In that moment, Kathryn made a decision.

She squeezed B’Elanna’s hand before launching forward in a hug, partly in acceptance, partly to hide the tear that had now escaped. She was so very proud of this young woman, who first came aboard lost and angry, and whom she eventually relied on to keep her ship running. The Alpha Quadrant may have been her goal, but holding B’Elanna now, she realised this woman, Tom, Seven, and so many others, were the fruits of her laborious journey.

At the passing thought of Seven, she tried not to think of the man who still had her heart, and now was beyond her reach.

When they pulled back, they clutched each other’s hands, unwilling to let go of the contact. Kathryn said, “I’m honoured, B’Elanna, thank you.”

“You’ve been more family than ours have ever been, Captain. Thank you.”

“Rest, B’Elanna. I’ll see you later. I promise.”

B’Elanna waved for Tom to come return to the room. He placed Miral on the cot next to the biobed, before going around to Kathryn to embrace her.

“You’re a little too young for a _ Tita_,” he joked, “but anything less didn’t feel right.”

Still in their embrace, Kathryn lightly smacked him on the shoulder before pulling back, “Thank you, Tom.”

Kathryn left sickbay feeling lighter than she had felt since arriving home. If nothing else, she had her mother, her sister, two of her formerly wayward ‘children’ and their newborn. Her granddaughter. Her mouth quirked up in a smile, wondering how her own mother would take this news.

***

Kathryn stepped into her temporary Starfleet apartment, kicking off her boots as she passed the threshold. The crew were dotted around several apartment complexes, a circular quad in the middle serving as a meeting point.

Right now, it didn’t feel like they were just about to go their separate ways yet, but Kathryn was dreading the inevitable as goodbyes and travels to homeworlds eventuated.

There had been joyful family reunions, but in her capacity as Captain, Kathryn also had to face moments of sadness when she met with the family of every crewmember, Starfleet and ex-Maquis, who didn’t make it home.

She had sobbed openly in her mother and sister’s arms, not caring what the stuffy Starfleet brass thought of a Captain’s teary family reunion in front of all and sundry.

She was happy to be home, she was sure of that. But her heart felt heavy. As soon as her mother and sister left, the fleeting melancholia dogging her fully descended. She hid it well, at least, she hoped she did.

She noticed the comm light blinking as she made her way to the replicator, asking for a glass of wine. Placing the wine next to the comm, she played back the pre-recorded video.

“Hey, Kathryn!” Phoebe’s face filled the screen, “Seeing tomorrow’s your birthday and all, I figured you could use a night on the town. You, me and that delightful chief engineer of yours. Spirit knows you both need a night out, for different reasons,” her sister winked, and Kathryn groaned. So much for hiding her feelings from Phoebe.

“Anyway, see you tomorrow evening at your apartment. Replicate something nice to wear, will you? Or I’ll do it for you. See you soon!” Phoebe’s mischievous grin blinked off the screen.

Kathryn rubbed her eyes. So much for hoping her birthday would pass quietly.

***

“What. Is. That?” Phoebe asked, her nose screwing up.

B’Elanna dropped the garment she was holding, crossing her arms, “It’s the nicest one I’ve got!”

Phoebe sighed, “You’re not exactly on replicator rations anymore. Look, maroon’s a lovely colour on you, but come on, we’re going out to have _ fun_. You know what fun is, right?”

Ignoring Phoebe, B’Elanna turned towards the replicator, passing her husband, Miral in his arms. Tom shrugged, wisely staying silent.

“Oh, leave her alone, Phoebe,” Kathryn said, stepping from the doorway of her bedroom, wearing a bathrobe and towelling her hair.

Phoebe waved a green dress, “You’re one to talk, Kathryn. Are these what you wore on Voyager? Was Voyager a convent or a starship?”

B’Elanna looked between the Janeway sisters. Usually someone like Phoebe would irritate her to no end, but she found the younger Janeway’s direct, carefree streak surprisingly endearing. The two sisters could not be more different and B’Elanna was beginning to learn how quickly Phoebe was able to push Captain Janeway’s buttons.

“What about this?” B’Elanna asked, her fingers dancing over the replicator control panel. Phoebe joined her, staring at the schematics. She made some swift modifications, before the item materialised. The half-Klingon picked the red dress up without argument and disappeared into Kathryn’s bedroom, just as Phoebe keyed in another request.

She marched into Kathryn’s bedroom, tossing the shimmery midnight blue material at her sister. 

Kathryn stared at the dress, “Oh, absolutely not, Phoebe!”

“No arguments. Get dressed, we have dinner reservations in thirty minutes. Move it!”

Phoebe caught her sister’s eyeroll when she left the bedroom.

The younger Janeway hadn’t missed her older sister’s undercurrent of melancholy at their reunion, and she guessed it had something to do with trying very hard not to look at her good-looking first officer, who appeared at first to be accompanied by the statuesque former Borg. She hadn’t seen them together since. 

Her sister needed a night out to start with. She kept the ice bucket on the backburner for now.


	2. June

With the Pathfinder project Captain Janeway managed to send through enough information for Starfleet to review ahead of time, so whilst she did not expect a lengthy debrief, she was surprised it only took them under a month. And, to her relief, a full pardon for the ex-Maquis with all Starfleet commissions retained, and the Equinox crew were honourably discharged.

Tuvok was taken to Vulcan immediately following their arrival. She was in regular contact with T’Pel, who informed her that he would make a full recovery.

There were also promotions, besides her own - Harry’s long-overdue to Lieutenant, Tom to Commander, B’Elanna to Lieutenant Commander, and finally, Chakotay to Captain, among many others.

She hadn’t spoken to Chakotay beyond professional courtesy. They’d spent an inordinate amount of time together during debriefings, but she kept their conversations short and focussed on their work. She also refused his visits to her temporary apartment. She sensed his frustration, and she built the walls around herself even higher to keep from his dogged enquiries.

Only once did her resolve falter, when she walked away from her sister and inadvertently into his path after their collective promotions, startling her.

_ “Sorry I startled you, Kathryn.” _

_ “Hm? It’s fine, my fault for not looking.” _

_ “Is everything alright, Kathryn?” _

_ “Yes it is, why shouldn’t it? We’re home, aren’t we?” _

_ “Kathryn, I didn’t mean it that way.” _

_ “I’m sorry, perhaps everything has been a little overwhelming for me. What are your leave plans, Captain?” _

_ “I’m going to visit my sister in Trebus.” _

_ “Oh. Then, I wish you both well on your journey,” she said, presuming Seven was joining him. _

_ “Kathryn?” _

_ “Congratulations again, Captain.” _

He’d given her an odd look then. She hoped, by wishing them both well, she could have the closure she needed.

She won the battle to bring her crew home, but lost the war.

***

She’d left almost immediately after the ceremony, but her disappearance did not go unnoticed by Chakotay. She said goodbye to everyone, except him.

He walked up to Tom, “Where’s the Admiral?”

Tom turned. Chakotay noticed a flash of annoyance in Tom eyes before he said, “Sorry Captain, I don’t know.”

_ The hell you don’t _, Chakotay thought. 

The new parents had been cagey since they disembarked from Voyager. If he really put his finger on it, he’d say they were being very protective of their former Captain. Oh, the whole ship knew of Kathryn’s new role in their lives, the only time the Captain’s mask dropped during debriefings was when he enquired about Miral. Kathryn would get a faraway look in her eyes and a soft smile would play on her lips, before she instantly realised who was enquiring and snapped back into Captain mode, politely responding that she hoped to spend more time with the baby once debriefings were over.

He also knew how much time B’Elanna was spending with Kathryn. If anything, B’Elanna had grown even more protective of her former Captain. On Kathryn’s birthday, he was awakened late at night by loud noises coming from the quad. When he peered out the window, he saw Kathryn, B’Elanna and Phoebe stumbling drunkenly, singing bawdy Klingon songs.

His apartment was on one of the lower floors, so he could see the trio very clearly. B’Elanna’s bright red dress was the first to catch his attention. Then he spotted Kathryn - her shimmery midnight blue dress glinting in the moonlight, her hair pulled in a french twist, the shorter strands falling across her face. He had felt his heart stir at the sight.

Their giggles and off-key singing carried until they entered their building.

He watched as Tom scanned for B’Elanna across the hall, and when he found her chatting to Admiral Montgomery, he caught her eye, nodded slightly towards the exit, and his wife responded with an imperceptible nod.

B’Elanna quickly and gracefully ended her conversation with the Admiral, before glancing back at Tom and heading out the exit.

***

B’Elanna rang the chime to Admiral Janeway’s temporary Starfleet quarters. It was a few doors down from hers and Tom’s, and she was grateful on days when both she and Tom were running empty on sleep and energy. Kathryn had been nothing but a godsend to the new parents, and to B’Elanna especially.

The couple’s return to Earth had been a mixed bag. B’Elanna was relieved to see Tom and Admiral Paris tentatively rebuild a once-broken relationship, and she along with Miral were welcomed into the Paris fold. 

While John Torres had initiated contact when Voyager was in the Delta Quadrant, his silence on their return spoke louder. Kathryn gently broke the news to her, and, while it hardly came as a surprise, the combination of her frantic preparations on Voyager, giving birth en route, their arrival back to Earth and finally tossed knee-deep into debriefings, she shed silent tears as Kathryn held her.

Despite her own troubles, B’Elanna was not oblivious to the relationship breakdown between her former Captain and Commander. She was so furious with Chakotay over his dalliance with Seven that she’d nearly launched out sickbay to retrieve her bat’leth. Tom calmed her down enough by the time both Chakotay and Seven had visited to offer their congratulations, B’Elanna had mustered enough polite civility towards the couple.

Once she was back on her feet, she had fully intended to give that _ p’taq _ a piece of her mind. Instead, everything caught up with her just as Chakotay and Seven called off their relationship.

She was still mad at him, though.

The door to Admiral Janeway’s quarters hissed open. B’Elanna stepped inside, making her way to sit next to Kathryn on the couch. She gently placed a hand on the older woman’s knee, “Admiral?”

Kathryn looked at B’Elanna, before placing her hand on top of B’Elanna’s, a wobbly smile on her face, “I’m not even going to bother telling you I’m fine.”

B’Elanna stayed silent, waiting for Kathryn to continue, “He’s leaving.”

“Only until Voyager is refitted,” B’Elanna replied.

Kathryn sighed, “Yes, but I think we’re beyond repairing what’s left. The last few years have been hard on us both. He should find all the happiness he can.”

“They’ve ended it.”

The surprise in Kathryn’s eyes made B’Elanna realise she had been so caught up in debriefings and helping the crew that she hadn’t found out about Chakotay and Seven’s breakup shortly before disembarking Voyager.

“You’ve been through a lot, Admiral, and haven’t had much time to process it either. You’ve been doing so much for your crew, for us, since we got back, maybe you need some time to yourself to work things out.”

In her heart, Kathryn knew she’d given up. She’d gotten her crew home, Tuvok’s deteriorating health condition stopped in its tracks, and the privilege of being an adopted grandparent. Perhaps, it could be enough. She hoped it would, the shadow of her bitter future self still vivid in her mind.

“I don’t know,” she said, as her eyes filled with unshed tears. She was floundering, she knew that. And lost without the anchor that was her former first officer, confidante and best friend.

B’Elanna said nothing, intuitively understanding that pushing Kathryn at this moment was pointless. Her anger at Chakotay rose. The crew were not blind to the uncanny bond between their commanding officers, on some days the warp core seemed to be powered by their unresolved tension. She thought they would finally admit their feelings to each other on their return, but the whole Seven situation had thrown a spanner in the works.

She couldn’t blame Seven, who had the mind of an adolescent when it came to relationships, so she placed it squarely on her ex-Maquis captain’s shoulders. _ He should have known better_, she seethed inwardly.

Captain Janeway had her reasons for not pursuing a relationship on board. B’Elanna expected Chakotay to understand the weight of Starfleet, and the guilt driving her to get them home, took precedence above all else. She had hoped for her captain to find peace and happiness once they’d gotten home, just as she and Tom had found it on Voyager.

The two women stayed like that for some time.

***

He reads through Voyager’s engineering logs on a padd. Whilst the technological modifications are impressive, it doesn’t provide any information or insight that he needed to further his plans. 

Hang on, what’s this? His eyes scanned the official Chief Engineer’s logs. Turning towards his terminal, he calls up her personal logs detailing the same incident, along with the Captain’s. This one looks interesting, and in the early days too. Buried deep over seven years, no one would make that connection.

It’s exactly what he needs. He shuts off the terminal.


	3. July

With Starfleet officially placing everyone on leave, Kathryn finally went home to her mother’s, B’Elanna practically shoving her on the transporter pad, insisting she, her husband and daughter would be fine.

She spent the early days at home getting reacquainted with her mother and catching up on seven years’ of sleep. Phoebe, along with her wife Imani would visit regularly with their sons. There was also a rotation of visiting crew, from Harry Kim (when he could leave his parents’ sights) to Mike Ayala to Susan Nicoletti. Even Seven had dropped by, although Kathryn found their conversation a little stilted and awkward. She was glad to see her former protege happy and thriving with her family in Sweden.

All the downtime found Kathryn’s mind beginning to wander even further. Her command decisions, her crew who didn’t make it home, her former first officer swirled into an overwhelming cloud of guilt and regret, pulling her down with its weight. The sleep-ins became longer when there were no visitors scheduled, her solitary walks increasing, and her dinners with her mother growing silent. Busywork was something she became an expert in, relinquishing her mother of nearly all the household chores and gardening when she wasn't sleeping.

The change worried Gretchen, Kathryn remaining tight-lipped about her time in the Delta Quadrant. Gretchen second-guessed Kathryn’s decision not to follow through after her first counselling session, but after hearing from the parade of visiting Voyager crew of Starfleet’s ineffective counsellors, she could do no more but to shower her eldest daughter with a mother’s love and give her the time she needed to process all that was troubling her.

***

B’Elanna stared at the schematics on the padd in one hand, Miral nursing quietly in the curve of her free arm.

“I don’t see why they don’t understand these modifications. It’s all in our reports!” she exclaimed.

“Who?” Tom asked

“Engineering! Well, not all of them. Just Commander Darran.”

“Who’s he?”

“He’s overseeing Voyager’s refit. He’s asking a lot of questions and I’m fed up of telling him to read our logs. It looks like I might have to go to Starfleet again tomorrow. I’m sorry Tom,” she said. Miral finished nursing, and B’Elanna covered herself up.

Tom leaned forward to take his daughter, placing her over his shoulder and patting her back.

“Is he even reading our reports?” he asked.

“He’s got authorised access to everything. Some of the things he asks don’t even look like they have anything to do with the refit,” she said.

Tom stood up to pace in front of her, “Well Starfleet’s had a few technological breakthroughs of their own, maybe that’s why he’s asking these questions.”

“Maybe,” she said, unconvinced.

***

B’Elanna sat at a terminal in Starfleet’s Engineering building, browsing through Voyager’s engineering schematics on the screen. Several other terminals surrounded her, both occupied and unoccupied. 

She heard the doors open and two pairs of footsteps, recognising one of the voices as Commander Darran. She steeled herself for their conversation. He wasn’t an unlikeable man, but there was something odd about his line of questioning that she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

“Commander Torres, good to see you again,” he said, approaching her workstation.

She nodded, pulling up Voyager’s warp core schematics, “I was just reviewing your comments on the Borg modifications to the warp core. Seven and the team on Utopia Planitia have removed them from the matter-antimatter chambers. They can upgrade the core to Federation standards while a recommendation is made on reintegrating the Borg technology.”

Darran peered at the padd he was carrying, then at Torres’ console.

“Can we increase the amount of matter and antimatter in the warp core?” he asked.

Torres was puzzled, “Why would we need to do that, the current Federation standards haven’t changed in seven years, and until we figure out how to break Warp 10 there’s no reason for increasing it.”

Darran looked at her, “If we’re unable to increase the amounts, will re-integrating the Borg technology increase the efficiency of the warp core?”

B’Elanna tried hard not to roll her eyes, “Yes, that was why we did it in the first place. There are risks with the increased efficiency, we’ll have to watch the speed in which the matter and antimatter channels through the plasma conduits. It was simple enough on Voyager with Seven around, so my suggestion would be to hold off on the modifications until Seven and the Head of Engineering figure it out.”

She thought Darran didn’t seem to be listening, concentrating on the console screen, until he narrowed his eyes, “Hmm. Perhaps Admiral Janeway may have some additional input into this, from what I read she is quite a proficient engineer herself, is she not?”

Torres resisted the urge to snap at him. The Admiral had only been back home in Indiana for several weeks and she’d be damned if she contacted her now. She knew more than anyone, besides Mrs Janeway and Phoebe, how much Kathryn needed the break.

“The Admiral’s not contactable right now, but if she gets in touch I’ll talk to her about it,” she said.

Her answer seemed to satisfy Darran, and he left her at her terminal, wandering to another engineer’s.

She glanced at the chronometer. She would need to duck into the parents’ room soon to pump milk. So much for leave, she thought, looking back at the console.


	4. August

B’Elanna and Tom happily accepted an invitation to spend time in Indiana at Mrs Janeway’s insistence, and Kathryn's joy when they surprised her at the front door. Gretchen delighted at the presence of three-month old Miral, embracing the family as part of the Janeway clan instantly, particularly B’Elanna. 

This evening, Tom was in the living room making funny noises at Miral, while Kathryn and B’Elanna sat at the dining table going through several padds detailing Voyager’s refit. Gretchen was in the kitchen preparing dinner.

The distraction had been somewhat a balm to Kathryn’s soul, and her mother’s cooking was also doing wonders to her malnourished body. The Doctor had been pleased to see on one of his social visits her reduced coffee intake, although unlike her future self, she couldn’t imagine giving it up.

Deep down though, she still couldn’t shake the feelings of guilt and regret. Although now, thoughts of Chakotay now didn’t bring a searing pain to her heart, merely a dull ache. She hadn’t heard from him since she left for Indiana, so she presumed he had gone to Trebus shortly after.

She was brought out of her reverie at the sound of the comm unit from the office. She rose from her chair when Tom called out, “I’ll get it,” carrying Miral with him to the office.

***

“Oh, hey Chakotay.”

Chakotay’s brow furrowed, “Paris? Isn’t this Kathryn’s comm?”

Tom leaned back, smiling smugly, “Open invitation to the Janeway residence for the crew, Captain. Didn’t get yours?”

“Cut it out, Paris,” Chakotay muttered, “I’d like to speak with Kathryn, please.”

Chakotay had been attempting to reach Kathryn for a week now. Reacquainting himself with his family and people took up much of his time on Trebus, and he hoped putting some distance between him and Kathryn might help them both work through the last seven years’ of their journey and their complicated relationship.

The day before he left Earth, B’Elanna had stopped by his temporary quarters. They’d been friendly enough, but when he asked after Admiral Janeway, she snarled at him to either make amends or extricate himself from Kathryn’s life. She then launched into a tirade over his failed relationship with Seven. He’d been ashamed by that, as B’Elanna drove home the impact of his actions, especially how much he hurt Kathryn.

Now that he had time to reflect, he realised how important Kathryn was to him, and he hoped she still felt the same about him. Their last few years in the Delta Quadrant drove a wedge between them, and they’d both lost the touchstone that was each other. He was so lonely he didn’t think twice when Seven approached him, choosing to ignore the promise he made a lifetime ago.

He had time to work through his feelings, with help from Sekaya, who in her short time on Earth, did not miss the connection between them, however frosty their relationship was by then. 

He tried to live without Kathryn. He realised he could, but it was a lousy existence if he was honest with himself. He could only hope Kathryn still felt the same way. He missed their close friendship, and if that is all she could offer, he would take it. But first, he needed to apologise. He had failed her as a friend, the abyss in their friendship a testament to the difficulties of their remaining journey - weary and battle-hardened, they drifted apart without even realising, and he had failed the woman whom he now knew he would always love deeply.

This brought him to the last few days, where every comm call to the Janeway home went unanswered, or he couldn’t connect at all. Seeing Tom Paris on the other end, he suspected Voyager’s chief engineer might have something to with it.

“She’s a little occupied at the moment, Captain,” Tom said.

Chakotay wanted to huff in frustration, but reeled it in before he spoke again, “Tom, I just want to talk to her. If she’s not ready, that’s okay. Tell her,” he paused, “Tell her I miss her, and I want to make things right.”

Tom blinked slowly, then nodded, his face unreadable, “I’ll let her know, Chakotay.”

***

B’Elanna and Kathryn were still engrossed in their padds when Tom returned from the office. His wife looked up, nodded in understanding and excused herself on the guise of helping Mrs Janeway, taking Miral from him.

Tom sat down next to Kathryn, speaking softly and out of earshot from his wife and Mrs Janeway, “That was Chakotay, Admiral.”

The only acknowledgement he got from Kathryn was the slight hitch in her breath.

“He just wanted to tell you he misses you and wants to make it right. When you’re ready.”

This time Kathryn looked up from her padd, her eyes betraying her uncertainty, “When I’m ready.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder to reassure her, “You will be.”

He hated seeing his former commanding officer like this.

***

B’Elanna watched as Kathryn wound through the backyard for her daily evening walk. The Admiral had grown quiet in the time since their arrival, and B’Elanna partly regretted removing Chakotay’s block on her comm. She had miscalculated Kathryn’s less anguished presence, chalking it up to having most of what was bothering her worked out. 

The counsellors Starfleet appointed had been nothing but ineffective, unused to dealing with the unique situation Voyager’s crew had been thrown into. B’Elanna herself, at Kathryn’s urging, met with her counsellor several times, ultimately giving up. She would much rather talk to Tom and Admiral Janeway than a counsellor who knew nothing of what they went through.

When she cried in Kathryn’s arms after news of her father’s silence, she realised the comfort from her former Captain was worth more than months and months of counselling. Initially fearing becoming a burden, Admiral Janeway had gently, but firmly, reassured B’Elanna’s place in her life and in her heart, easing the gaping ache at the knowledge she really didn’t have anyone to come home to. Tom and Miral meant everything to her, but watching her husband’s family reunion had brought up old, deep-seated insecurities about her own lack thereof. She wasn’t ungrateful for the fact that she made a family out in the Delta Quadrant, but she may have harboured unrealistic expectations about her homecoming.

No matter now, B’Elanna thought. Tom’s quiet support carried her through her period of adjustment, as had Admiral Janeway catching her at her lowest point. They, and Miral, helped to unknot the unsettledness bubbling within her.

She only wished she could do the same for the woman she had come to regard as more than a commanding officer and mentor.

B’Elanna went in search of Tom, finding him upstairs in their guestroom reading, Miral fast asleep in her cot.

“I’m going for a walk,” she said. Tom nodded.

She poked her head into the office to relay the same message to Gretchen, before making her way out through the back door.

The warm summer’s day was only just starting to cool, but dusk would be a little while away. She walked through the fields, eventually spotting Kathryn seated under her tree.

B’Elanna made enough noise on her approach that Kathryn looked up. She motioned for her to sit next to her.

B’Elanna settled herself next to Kathryn. She knew exactly what occupied Kathryn’s mind. When Kathryn wasn’t busily distracted with mundane housework, gardening, Miral and the trickle of visitors, she always wandered off in the same direction.

“Permission to speak freely?” the half-Klingon asked.

Kathryn tilted her head, slightly bemused, “Of course, B’Elanna.”

“Admiral, you can’t go on pretending like nothing is wrong. You told me the same thing when we got home. You’re not yourself.”

B’Elanna pushed on, “We spent the last seven years surviving as the only Federation starship out there. You’ve made mistakes, we all have. You need to forgive yourself.”

Kathryn shifted, her lower lip trembling slightly, “Oh, B’Elanna. I’ve been trying. Seeing our crew safe and happy is all I’ve ever wanted. I wish I could have done more for those who didn’t make it, and I know now it’s something I can’t undo. It’s just hard to shake how I’m feeling, that I’m here and they are not.”

“But you also think this thing with Chakotay can’t be undone,” B’Elanna said, dragging forth the subject of the one person she avoided speaking about.

Kathryn turned away now. B’Elanna placed a hand on her arm, “He’s one of your closest friends, and you depended on each other for the better part of seven years. Find your way back to that friendship. It’s a good place to start. Let the rest take care of itself.”

Kathryn knew B’Elanna was right. She missed Chakotay’s presence, his counsel and his companionship. Much of the guilt she carried during their early years were helped by his guidance, acting as unofficial ship’s counsellor but most importantly, the one person she could be herself with. She spent seven years tamping down her unrequited feelings for him, making the decision to focus solely on the mission home. It hadn’t been fair to foist the same expectations on him.

Yet, she couldn’t help but feel betrayed. Hurt that he didn’t feel as strongly or as deeply as she did, choosing to move on.

The feeling of unrest still nagged at her, as if steering Voyager through the dangerous transwarp conduit right into the doorstep of Sector 001 wasn’t enough.

And so she turned back to B’Elanna, tears threatening to fall. Seeing nothing but kindness in her friend’s eyes, her hands flew up to cover her face as she wracked heaving sobs, shoulders shaking, the regret and guilt she had pushed aside finally spilling to the surface. 

B’Elanna held Kathryn as the storm raged inside her.

*** 

Kathryn waved at the Paris-Torres family as they dematerialised from the Bloomington transporter pad, promising to call on them as soon as she returned to San Francisco.

She said goodbye to the transport station operator and headed out into the afternoon sun. The walk would do her good, and as she meandered through the back paths home, she again found herself in the shade of her thinking tree, sitting comfortably under it, legs crossed.

She breathed slowly, and her thoughts once again fell on to her former first officer. He hadn’t tried to contact her since he found Tom on the other end of the comm.

After B’Elanna’s talk, she spent many nights just talking to her and her mother, the guilt she carried slowly alleviated by the understanding of one who saw it all firsthand, the other providing an outside perspective with the intimate knowledge only a mother can have of their child’s flaws and foibles.

She still hadn’t quite reached the point of bringing up one particular person. It was a subject still too tender for her to broach on her own, and she was grateful her mother and B’Elanna wisely limited mentioning Chakotay during those late night talks.

“I thought I might find you here.”

Kathryn looked up to find her mother, who sank down next to her on the grass. 

Gretchen knew very well what was going on inside Kathryn’s mind and heart, and if there’s one thing Kathryn was never very good at, it was putting her own needs first. Oh, she had briefly met the man currently occupying her daughter’s thoughts in San Francisco, and Phoebe was certainly not subtle in pointing out all the reasons why Kathryn ‘had the hots’ for her first officer, much to Kathryn’s embarrassment.

_ I might be gay Kathryn, but I’m not blind. _ Gretchen thought she would have to referee an argument between the two sisters at the reception. Kathryn had simply turned away, and unfortunately straight into the sights of Captain Chakotay. Her daughter’s shoulders went stiff as they briefly spoke, before she excused herself, leaving a puzzled Chakotay.

She said nothing then, but Kathryn couldn’t carry on like this. She was certainly much less volatile than when she first arrived in Indiana, but Gretchen needed the whole of Kathryn back. Preferably before Phoebe resorted to a bucket of ice water.

“Kathryn, are you happy?” she asked.

Her daughter looked startled, “Of course, mom! I’m happy to be home, it’s all I ever thought about in the Delta Quadrant.”

“I don’t mean that, Kathryn. You’re still unsettled, sad, even.”

Kathryn shifted, pulling her knees up to her chest, “I guess I imagined our homecoming to be a little different.”

“You’ve always had a flair for the dramatic, Kathryn. Your arrival certainly proved that.”

Her daughter grinned, “You’ll be glad to know my older self hadn’t lost that.”

Gretchen wasted no time, “Speaking of your self, I’ve never known Kathryn Janeway not to go after what she wants. Or at least explore what could be.”

Kathryn’s grin faded, and she looked away from her mother. 

“For someone who can be very forthright as a starship captain, you can be surprisingly reticent when it comes to your personal relationships. Have you ever considered just asking the man, Kathryn?”

She laughed bitterly, “You sounded like Phoebe for a moment.”

“Well, she is her mother’s daughter. And you are your father’s. Always putting others before yourself. It’s time Kathryn put herself first.”

Kathryn sighed, “Isn’t that what I’ve been doing since we got home?”

“Of course. But you need to resolve this, once and for all. Don’t leave him, _ yourself_, hanging. The future Admiral didn’t sacrifice herself for you to be sitting here moping. And I’m not blind either, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him when he wasn’t looking, _ and he can’t stop looking at you, too_.”

Kathryn startled at Gretchen’s speech. 

“I guess I need to figure out what he means to me now.”

“You already know, Kathryn. You just need to tell him. He was your best friend, Kathryn. He still is, isn’t he?”

Her daughter fidgeted.

“I thought we had all the time in the world.”

“Well, you do.”

***

Kathryn sat at the comm in her father’s office. A week had passed since she and her mother had talked. Gretchen had said all she needed to say under her thinking tree, leaving Kathryn to work the rest out on her own.

She knew she had been less than happy, her future self’s revelations running around in circles in her mind. She knew this much - she missed her dearest friend. Chakotay meant more to her than anyone she had ever known outside her own family

It felt as though the clouds had lifted between her very ugly crying episode and her mother’s gentle kick in the right direction, she only needed to summon the courage to reach out to him.

She prepared to steel herself. This is ridiculous, it’s Chakotay, not the Hirogen, she thought.

She entered Chakotay’s last comm address, heart beating as she anticipated a response.

Kathryn was just about to disconnect when Chakotay’s disheveled face filled the screen. He blinked several times, realising who was on the other end.

“Kathryn!” he exclaimed, “This is a surprise. A good one,” he added hastily.

She smiled nervously, “Hello, Chakotay. Were you asleep? I am so sorry…”

Chakotay waved a hand across the screen, shaking his head, “It’s early here on Trebus, but no, you didn’t wake me.”

Kathryn looked away for a second, an awkward silence falling between them.

Chakotay spoke first, “Kathryn, I’m glad you called. I’ve missed you.”

She smiled, “I’ve missed you too, Chakotay. We saw each other every day for seven years. The change has been very odd for me.”

“And me too, Kathryn,” he replied, deliberately avoiding the topic of one B’Elanna Torres tampering with his attempts to reach her.

She took in the unmade single bed behind Chakotay, “How has Trebus been treating you?”

“The colony is getting back on its feet. They had their first harvest recently, so they didn’t have to rely on the food transport this season.”

“That’s wonderful news, I’m glad to hear that. And your family?”

“Sekaya and Takoda are well. They have a son and daughter. They’re eight and six,” he said.

“Oh! They’re close in age to my nephews. They’re seven and six.”

“They’re a handful at that age, aren’t they. My niece asks me hundreds of questions every day about space travel.”

Kathryn chuckled, “So do my nephews. They both want to join Starfleet. Phoebe isn’t too pleased.”

The two laughed, finding their way back to a semblance of the conversations they used to have. They discussed what the crew had been up to since debriefings ended, the regular communications network set up by Tom Paris proving to be more helpful than any Starfleet counselor. The crew seemed determined not to leave anyone behind; they recently heard of Crewman Gerron’s difficult readjustment back on his homeworld. Both Ken Dalby and Jenny Delaney had travelled the long distance to reach him.

“We built a family out there, Chakotay. I’m so proud to have served with all of them,” Kathryn said, propping a hand up to rest on her cheek.

Chakotay looked almost wistful for a moment, “I don’t think it will be quite the same when I take command of Voyager.”

Kathryn smiled delightedly, “Did you accept the command?”

“Yes. I’ll look after her, Kathryn,” he said.

“I can’t imagine anyone else captaining her.”

“Besides, I don’t think anyone else dared to fill in the shoes of Voyager’s first and most distinguished Captain,” he teased.

Kathryn rolled her eyes, chuckling, “Is that so?”

“No,” his eyes sparkled.

Kathryn suddenly turned serious, but she held his gaze, “Chakotay, I need to apologise. For avoiding you since we got home. The truth is, things haven’t really turned out the way I hoped.”

Chakotay leaned forward, “It is I who should be apologising, Kathryn. I haven’t been a very good friend to you for some time now, and I should have been more than your first officer when the Admiral showed up. Even before that.”

She looked down, “The truth was… the truth is, Chakotay, I just had so much to unpack - our journey, the people we’ve lost, the things we had to do to survive, it felt like a lot when I finally had a moment to breathe,” the last words whispered out of her.

Chakotay cocked his head, waiting for her to continue.

“When I heard about you and Seven, intellectually I knew if we stayed in the Delta Quadrant any longer, you would have moved on. I expected you to. You’re such a passionate man, Chakotay, and I couldn’t give you what you wanted and also lead our crew home at the same time. It didn’t hurt any less, though, when you did.”

Kathryn paused, collecting her thoughts. Chakotay stayed silent.

“A long time ago, you told me of an ancient legend. My heart was yours then. It still is, and I thought we could explore what was between us when we finally got home. I guess I hoped, intellect aside, that you would wait, as I did. I know I’m too late, but I’ve also come to realise how much I missed my friend. And if that is all you can offer me, I would gladly, wholeheartedly, accept that.”

Kathryn breathed out, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders.

“Is, Kathryn,” Chakotay finally spoke.

“What?”

“Is between us, Kathryn. Not was. I’m so sorry for hurting you, for failing you as a friend, for not realising how much you needed me at the end, for not keeping my promise to you. We drifted so far apart I didn’t know if you still felt the same. I tried to move on and it was a spectacular failure. I wish I hadn’t cause you so much pain. You’ve wormed your way in here,” he paused to place a hand on his heart, “And you’re hard to get rid of, Kathryn Janeway. Not that I would want to.”

Kathryn stifled a sob, giving him a watery smile.

“Kathryn, it’s not too late,” Chakotay said, eyes pleading. He wasn’t going to lose the woman in front of him again if he could help it. 

A tear fell from one eye as she nodded, “We’re a pair aren’t we, seems like we’ve done nothing but push each other away.”

“It feels like a long time ago when we didn’t,” he agreed.

“Can we put this behind us, Chakotay? Can we look forward again, together?” she asked hopefully.

“It’s all I want, Kathryn,” he smiled.

She lifted her hand to touch the screen, as if doing so could bring them closer, could rebuild the hollow between them that now began to close at their first real conversation in months. He responded in kind, pressing his fingers to hers, reminding him of a time more innocent and a planet seventy thousand light years away.

Chakotay broke the silence this time, “I’m glad you called. When I’m back on Earth, I’d like to take you out to dinner. We can talk about everything else.”

“I’d like that, Chakotay.”


	5. September

She’d been back in San Francisco for a week now. Today, Kathryn was heading to Tom and B’Elanna’s new home. Tom’s parents had welcomed the couple warmly, but old habits were hard to break. Tom and Owen still occasionally didn’t see eye to eye, and although the disagreements were much less heated than before, the couple decided they needed to find their own space before Owen and Julia suggested the young family moved in with them permanently. 

She walked up the pathway to the two-storey semi-detached home, not far from her Starfleet apartment. She sighed, she was still struggling to find more permanent lodgings herself, but until then, Starfleet were happy to accommodate its newest Admiral.

As she climbed the steps to the front porch, the door opened to reveal a tired B’Elanna. Kathryn pulled the younger woman into a tight embrace.

“It’s good to see you, B’Elanna.”

“Likewise, Admiral. Please come in, Tom’s just about finished feeding Miral and he’ll put her down for a nap. I’ll show you around.”

They made their way upstairs, where Kathryn just managed to kiss Miral before she fell into a milk-drunken sleep.

The house wasn’t large, owing to the practicalities that the family fully expected to be back in space following Voyager’s refit. The upstairs had two bedrooms with their own separate baths; downstairs, an open space made up the kitchen, dining and living areas, with a small office closed off in the corner, and wide french folding doors led out to the back patio and a small garden.

While Kathryn stood looking around the back patio, B’Elanna strode towards the wooden lattice wall dividing their patio and the one next door, poking disgustedly at the rotting wood.

“Tom’s promised to replace this soon,” B’Elanna said.

Inside, Kathryn noticed the few personal items dotted on the walls and other surfaces were from the couple’s quarters on Voyager. It wasn’t much, but with time Kathryn was sure the house would become their home. She did chuckle at the sight of B’Elanna’s bat’leth mounted against the wall, well out of childrens’ reach.

“Well, now that we’ve given you the grand tour, what can I get you? Coffee? You’re staying for dinner, right?” Tom asked, gesturing for Kathryn to take a seat on the couch, turning towards the kitchen.

Kathryn nodded, “Coffee please, and yes to dinner, if you insist.”

B’Elanna sat down next to Kathryn, “You know you’re always welcome. Have you found a place to live yet?”

“I think I’ve looked at so many places this week I’m mixing them all up. There’s really nothing that’s piqued my interest. I’ll stay where I am, but I’m in not much hurry to be honest.”

Tom walked around the kitchen counter into the living room, handing over mugs to B’Elanna and Kathryn before sitting down himself.

“B’Elanna’s been spending a lot of time at Starfleet, seems like Commander Darran and his team are having a hard time getting their head around some of the modifications we made,” Tom said.

Kathryn turned to B’Elanna, surprised, “Starfleet promised us minimal contact on leave, how often are you there?”

B’Elanna looked down sheepishly at her coffee, “Almost every day. When Tom wasn’t moving us in here, he joins me in meetings.”

Kathryn was annoyed. She expected the senior staff, including herself, to be called in occasionally, but she didn’t realise the extent to which Starfleet Engineering were imposing on her former chief engineer and pilot. She herself had been in and out of Headquarters, but mostly did everything via comms. She noticed now Tom looked a little tired himself.

“It sounds like you both need to spend some time away together. Alone,” Kathryn suggested, “And I’ll talk to Starfleet.”

***

He pushed through the leisurely crowd on Risa. How he hated the place. It was far too lively and gaudy for his liking. But it was also the perfect place to conduct his transactions.

He ducks into a store, filled with assorted souvenirs across the Alpha and Beta quadrants. It looked the same as any other, but the owner acknowledges him with a nod before shuffling over to talk to the only other customer inside. 

As soon the the customer turned her back to him, he steps through the back door into the darkened storage area. His eyes take several seconds to adjust to the darkness, before he steps deeper into the room. He rounds a corner, where he is met by a Ferengi.

“You’re late,” the Ferengi grumbles.

“The civilian transport was delayed. Do you have it?”

The Ferengi produced a cloth-wrapped item. He takes the item, unwrapping the cloth to inspect it.

“Are you sure it will integrate with Cardassian engineering specs?” he asked.

“Hey, I just get what you need, I’m not the expert here,” snapped the Ferengi, snatching the item from him.

He reaches into his pocket for the latinum, and the Ferengi grins at the sight. Accepting the latinum, the Ferengi relinquished the item to him. He rewraps it in the cloth.


	6. October

Chakotay felt like he’d been sitting at his comm for hours, when it was most likely minutes. He arranged a transport from Trebus following his communication with Kathryn, but it still took several weeks as he needed to tie up some loose ends with his family. Now he intended to make good on his promise. He felt nervous, but also full of hope.

He keyed in Kathryn’s comm. It wasn’t long before her face filled the screen.

She smiled, “Hello, Chakotay. Did you just return from Trebus?”

“Yesterday, on the civilian transport. Maybe I should’ve pulled rank and hitched a ride on a Starfleet ship. I’m not sure what they were carrying in the cargo hold, but environmental controls couldn’t stop the smell.”

Kathryn chuckled, “Well, hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?

He grinned, then turned serious, “I was wondering, how does dinner tomorrow sound?” 

Kathryn looked stricken, and Chakotay felt a pit form in his stomach. _ Has she changed her mind? _

She smiled apologetically, “Oh, Chakotay, I’m so sorry. I’m looking after Miral tomorrow. B’Elanna and Tom are spending the night in Bogota.”

When her explanation hit him, he let out a huff of relief, “Don’t do that to me again, Kathryn! For a moment there I thought you changed your mind!”

She chuckled, eyes softened, “I couldn’t change my mind about you, even if I tried.”

They’ve waited long enough, an idea came to him, “Kathryn, why don’t I bring us dinner tomorrow? You can replicate some synthehol wine and still keep an eye on Miral.”

“That would be wonderful, Chakotay. 1900 hours?” she was smiling now, much wider than when they first started speaking. His heart soared.

“1900 hours.”

***

“There’s enough milk in stasis for two days, in case she’s hungrier than usual,” B’Elanna said, placing the unit on Kathryn’s kitchen counter.

“Oh and I’ve updated Darran on…” B’Elanna was cut off by Admiral Janeway, “I’ll make sure he considers your recommendations. It will be fine, B’Elanna. Go.”

Kathryn and Tom led B’Elanna to the front door, Kathryn gently pushing the couple out when the doors opened, “Enjoy your date, both of you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She watched as Tom led B’Elanna away before the doors shut. She didn’t mention to the couple of her plans with Chakotay. Spirits knew they needed the time together.

She walked to her bedroom, where Miral’s spare cot sat next to the bed. The baby was fast asleep, but glancing at the chronometer, Kathryn expected her to wake before Chakotay’s arrival. 

***

Chakotay walked towards Kathryn’s apartment. He stopped by a tiny Persian restaurant he and Seven had passed a few times. It piqued Chakotay’s curiosity, but Seven turned up her nose at the sight of the crowds and disorganised decor through the window.

If the crowds inside the restaurant were any indicator, he and Kathryn were in for a treat. He switched the basket holding the stasis unit to his other hand before ringing the chime.

Kathryn’s door opened, and he was greeted with her holding Miral in one arm and a bottle in the other.

“Hello, Kathryn.”

She smiled, “Please come in. She’s just about finished with dinner.” She nodded towards the kitchen counter so he could set down their dinner.

As he made towards the kitchen, he noticed she had set up the dining table. A small vase held a single peace rose in the middle. The sight of the rose took him back to when he thought he nearly lost her to the alien matrix, and their subsequent holodeck adventure on Lake George. 

He watched as Kathryn placed the empty bottle on the coffee table, picking up the little towel draped over her shoulder to wipe Miral’s mouth. She gently bounced and whispered quiet words of affection to the child, who gurgled before falling silent. She dropped a gentle kiss to Miral’s forehead, smiling softly.

Chakotay found himself completely entranced.

Kathryn looked up at him, mouthed, “She’s asleep,” before turning towards the bedroom. He shook his head, opening the stasis unit. The scent of spices filled the air.

As he placed the last of the food containers on the dining table, Kathryn walked out of the bedroom.

“That smells amazing, Chakotay. Where is it from?”

“A Persian place near Old Chinatown. It’s always crowded when I walked past and I’ve always wanted to try it.”

Kathryn pulled her chair to sit, inhaling the scent of the food, “Well, I’m starving and this smells like you made an excellent choice.”

Chakotay popped the bottle of the synthehol wine before sitting down, pouring Kathryn and himself a glass, urging with his other hand for her to get started on the food.

To their relief, they easily found their rhythm as they had on Voyager. Occasionally Kathryn would excuse herself to check on Miral, otherwise Chakotay found this was the most time they’ve spent talking to each other since she reached out to him. Whilst the conversation had been easy so far, it was clearly building up to something more.

When they finished their meal, he cleared up the dining table and brought her wine glass to the couch while she checked on Miral once again. 

Kathryn sat next to him, taking the proffered glass from Chakotay as she did so.

She took a sip before lifting the glass up, watching the play of light as she swirled the amber liquid. From the corner of her eye she could see him watching her. They skirted the heavy topics over dinner, but she knew she couldn’t put it off any longer. She placed her glass on the coffee table.

With her free hand, she reached out to touch his. He didn’t resist, entwining his fingers with hers.

Kathryn broke the silence, “We need to finish our talk,” she squeezed his hand to reassure him, “But not about the past. I think we’ve both flogged that horse to death.”

Chakotay silently urged her to continue. She took a deep breath, “I want to look to my future. Our future. If that’s what you want.”

“Kathryn?”

She shifted, still not used to pouring her heart out, but determined to continue, “Out in the Delta Quadrant, you were more than my first officer. You were my confidant, my closest friend. It was all I had to help me hold on to myself.”

He didn’t move.

“While we were out there I couldn’t let this,” she pulled their entwined hands to her heart, “Get in the way of getting home.”

She dropped their hands between them, not letting go, “I meant what I said, how I felt about you out there, I’ve never stopped. I couldn’t not love you even if I tried. I’d like to give this… us, a try.”

She looked away then, her heart hammering as she waited for Chakotay to speak.

“Kathryn, please look at me?”

She looked up at Chakotay, and with all the love he felt for her, said, “I want this,” he squeezed her hand, “The last few years were hard on us. I felt less than myself then and I’m sure it was the same for you. We’ve made some mistakes, but we’ve put that behind now. I’m with you. Always.”

Chakotay leaned forward to drop a kiss to her temple, before pressing their foreheads together, eye closed, both sighing in relief.

Kathryn didn’t know how long they stayed like this, but a whimper from the bedroom drew them away from each other. The whimper quickly morphed into a wail, and Kathryn jumped from the couch and dashed to the bedroom.

Chakotay heard Kathryn’s soft cooing amongst the infant’s cries before she emerged with Miral, who had calmed considerably, her breaths now punctuated by small hiccups. She sat back down on the couch.

He watched as Kathryn gently stroked Miral’s cheek with the back of her fingers. The child started to blink slowly, hiccups subsiding. 

Chakotay glanced at the chronometer, then picked up their half empty wine glasses and placed them in the recycler. He turned, “It’s getting late, Kathryn. You need to get some rest.”

She rose, joining him as he walked towards the door. They stopped before the sensors picked up their presence. There was now a comfortable tension between, if tension could at all be referred to as comfortable.

“Thank you for dinner, Chakotay. I really enjoyed it.”

“You’re welcome. I hope we can do this again soon?” he asked.

“Yes, and without this one,” she said, indicating the now quiet bundle, “As much as I adore her.”

When she looked back up at him, she was gifted with one of his dimpled smiles. He turned to Miral and stroked her nose, dropping a kiss to her ridged forehead. 

Chakotay straightened up, as he did so her pushed a lock of her hair out from her face, and gently kissed her cheek.

They exchanged tentative smiles before Chakotay exited her apartment.

Kathryn pressed a kiss to Miral’s nose, “One day, little one, I’ll tell you all about the time you interrupted_ Tita’s _ first date.”

***

She commed Chakotay the next day, suggesting a picnic the following day. He’d reached out to her as promised, it was only fair she did some of the lifting if they were to move forward to where she hoped they were heading.

Chakotay came to pick her up mid-morning with a bottle of real white wine and blanket. She had the basket he left behind from their dinner in hand when they set out towards the bay. Kathryn relished the luxury of being able to eat real food again, that they’d spent nearly two hours browsing the various delis, cafes and restaurants. 

When they had finally filled their basket, they headed towards a grassy park, where Chakotay laid down the blanket. Kathryn unpacked two glasses and their meals as he opened the bottle.

Sitting cross legged next to Chakotay, she opened the package containing her rice paper rolls, a mix of vegetarian and seafood, while Chakotay tucked into his vegetable tempura and soba noodles.

They gazed out into the water beyond the park, the sunlight glinting off the gentle waves. 

“You know,” Kathryn said between mouthfuls, “I still haven’t really gotten round to the list of things I wanted to do once we got back to Earth.”

Chakotay swallowed a bite of food, “Neither have I. Was this one of them?”

“Something like that. Sharing a picnic in the park, out in the sun, just being in the moment.” she replied, clinking her wine glass with his.

“Well this is a great first start,” Chakotay said.

“We should compare lists, maybe we could go together if you don’t mind the extra company?” Kathryn asked.

His expression lit up at the idea, “I'd love your company.”

Kathryn glanced at the bowl of noodles and vegetables. Chakotay caught her staring. He offered the bowl to her. She took it from him, proffering the vegetarian rolls in exchange. He nearly laughed when she dove in.

“Cajoling you to eat is the one thing I won’t miss, Kathryn. Between Neelix, the Doctor and I, it was nearly a full-time job,” he said.

She shot him a glare, “I didn’t realise there was a concerned committee on board.”

He flashed a grin, the dimples nearly undoing her mock outrage, “Your coffee to food ratio was near legendary onboard, Kathryn. Some days we thought the ship was powered by your caffeine addiction alone.”

Kathryn shook her head, smiling, “I have to admit, my appetite’s much better now that I’m free of all the stress and worry.”

She patted his arm, reassuring him she wasn’t about to spiral into a bout of melancholia. His comment would have stung not so long ago, but Kathryn had made peace with their past and the journey that got them here. She was grateful to him, Neelix and the Doctor for looking out for her when she was the last person she thought about on Voyager.

They spent the rest of the afternoon in comfortable conversation, until the cold breeze of the autumn air prompted them to pack up for the day.

***

“Tom! This is a nice surprise,” Kathryn exclaimed, ushering Tom into her temporary office. Tom never stopped by, preferring to visit her apartment or inviting her over for dinner. He looked smart in Starfleet’s new uniform and Commander’s pips on his collar.

Admiral Janeway walked to the replicator, “Coffee?”

“Yes, please, Admiral.”

She requested two coffees, waving at Commander Paris to sit on the couch. She held out his drink just as he sat, and she placed herself on the armchair across from him.

“What brings you here, Commander?” she asked.

He grinned, “It’s a social visit, Admiral. At ease.”

Kathryn laughed, “How’s the Delta Flyer project going?”

“They’re talking about rolling out the Delta Flyer as the new standard in shuttle design. Harry’s pretty excited.”

She smiled delightedly, pleased at the outcome of Tom’s pet project.

“That’s not why I’m here though, Admiral. Take a look at this,” he said, showing her the padd he brought.

She eyed him curiously before accepting the padd, scrolling through the contents. She looked up at him.

“We can go see it now if you like?” he ventured.

She looked down again at the padd, then back up at him, “I don’t see why not.”

***

Kathryn and Tom gazed up at the building in front of them. 

“Shall we have a look inside?” Kathryn asked.

Tom tapped the padd, “Lead on, Admiral.”

The two made their way up the stairs, pausing at the front door for Tom to enter the code. 

Kathryn pushed open the door and stepped inside, Tom not far behind. They looked around.

“Talk about into the looking glass,” Tom said.

She ignored him, taking in the space around her. From the outset, the semi-attached home right next door to the Paris’ looked almost like a mirror image, but as she continued to take in the open living area, she could see the subtle differences already. The kitchen took up a little more space, there was a fireplace, and the floor to ceiling glass sliding doors stretched end to end, giving an unencumbered view of the back patio and garden.

“Does B’Elanna know?”

“Not yet. She’ll be pleased though, you’re both so close now.”

Kathryn turned back to look at the house, then back at Tom, “I’ll think about it.”

She bought the house a week later.

***

Chakotay walked towards the exit of Starfleet Headquarters, having just finished a long, tedious meeting with Admiral Hayes. Most of their discussions came as no surprise, he suspected Hayes wanted to talk about Voyager’s new crew. Now he held the padd containing personnel who have requested assignment, or re-assignment as had been the case. He stopped by briefly to see B’Elanna before his meeting, who was busy tearing apart some of Starfleet’s supposed ‘technological improvements’.

“Captain Chakotay!” called a voice behind him. He turned to see Kathryn approach him at a brisk walk. 

She caught up to him, smiling warmly, “I heard you were here today. Did you just meet with Hayes?”

“Hello, Admiral, and yes. What are you doing here?” he returned her smile.

“I was called to referee a very passionate discussion between Commanders Torres and Darran. He’s overseeing Voyager’s refit.”

They both shared a chuckle as they stepped out into the sunshine.

“So I take it your refereeing duties are over?” Chakotay asked.

“For today, at least,” Kathryn replied.

“Join me for lunch?”

“I would love to.”

They headed out of the Starfleet campus towards the bay, in the general direction of cafes and restaurants. Kathryn placed her hand in the crook of his arm as they walked in silence.

They spoke often these days, quickly re-establishing their long-lost camaraderie. In between their own schedules, they tried to catch each other over a quick lunch. Last week he spent a long day helping Kathryn move into her new home, right next door to B’Elanna and Tom. She replicated dinner, but they were both so exhausted they called an early night.

Kathryn pointed at a cafe, “How about this one?”

Chakotay nodded in agreement, and they stepped inside. A table was quickly found for them and menus placed in their hands. They scanned the menus and called over for their orders to be taken.

Once left alone, Kathryn indicated the padd he had placed on the table, “Is that the personnel list?”

“Yes. Almost half of our crew have asked to be reassigned back to Voyager, some with families.”

Kathryn was surprised, but pleased, “So many?”

“I was surprised myself, but with Voyager now a strictly science and exploration vessel, it will feel like a leisure cruise compared to our adventures in the Delta Quadrant,” he chuckled.

She chuckled along with him, “I imagine it would be just a little more predictable. Have you decided on your senior staff?”

He leaned forward, “Your chief engineer’s keeping her job, Harry would be good at tactical so I’m moving Sue to Ops. I’m going to ask Tom to be my first officer.”

Kathryn felt a flush of pride rising, “Tom will make a great first officer. He’ll make a great captain someday, maybe even an admiral.”

“Thanks to you, Kathryn. You had a lot of faith in him.”

She grinned over the rim of her cup, “I had a lot of faith in our crew.”

They fell into a comfortable silence just as their meal arrived. Mid-way, he caught her eyeing his spinach and mushroom quiche. He offered it to her, and she promptly exchanged her lentil salad for his quiche.

He again tried not to laugh at this newly-discovered habit of hers as he watched her tuck in with gusto.


	7. November

Kathryn bustled around her bedroom, trying to remember where she had packed away a pair of shoes. One hand held a hairbrush, the other her lipstick as she kicked her closet door open to check. Satisfied it was definitely not in the closet, she rushed back to the bathroom to finish getting dressed.

It was early afternoon, but with the ballet starting at eight pm in New York, she only had half an hour to get herself ready, the time having slipped from her when her meeting with B’Elanna and Lieutenant Darran went longer than expected.

“Whose idea was this?” she muttered, “Oh hang on, mine.”

She finished applying her lipstick and ran the brush through her hair. It was starting to get longer now, reaching just below her shoulders. 

The door chimed just as she pulled her head out from under the bed. She got up and raced to the top of the stairs, hollering, “Come in!”

Seconds later she heard Chakotay’s voice, “Kathryn?”

She pulled open a drawer, calling out, “Upstairs! Can you see a pair of heels anywhere, Chakotay?”

Kathryn tossed the drawer’s contents out, only to stuff them back in.

“You mean these ones B’Elanna just gave me?” came his voice from the bedroom doorway.

She jumped, shutting the drawer and turning to him, “Why does B’Elanna have them?”

Chakotay shrugged, shoes in hand, “She thinks they got mixed up after your birthday night out.”

Kathryn made a face, “That would be entirely possible. The next day wasn’t pretty for either of us.”

She walked up to where Chakotay stood, leaning on the doorframe. He held the shoes in front of her and she took them, rising on her toes to kiss his cheek.

“I know. The three of you made quite a scene on the way home,” he said.

Kathryn balanced a hand on Chakotay’s shoulder as she put her shoes on, “Don’t remind me. How are we doing for time?”

“We should be there about twenty minutes before it starts.”

Shoes now on her feet, Kathryn lifted her hand from his shoulder to smooth her dress. Now that she appeared less flustered, Chakotay recognised the dress was the same one he had seen her wear all those months ago, stumbling home. This time, he had the privilege of seeing her in it up close.

“You look beautiful, Kathryn,” he said.

Kathryn paused for a moment, taking in his appearance in formalwear, “Thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself. Shall we?”

They made their way downstairs, putting on coats before walking to the transport station. The silence they shared was a reminder of times when either would linger at the other’s quarters on Voyager after dinner, sharing a bottle of wine, content to simply be in each other’s presence.

Kathryn slipped her hand in Chakotay’s as they walked, twining their fingers together. She let go only when they stood on the transporter pad, and upon rematerialising in the New York station, Chakotay reached for her hand. 

“This was a great idea, Kathryn. I’m glad we’re doing this,” he said, letting her guide them through the streets of New York.

She turned slightly to smile up at him, “You’ll get to see how The Dying Swan is properly done.”

He grinned, “I thought I already did.”

Kathryn snorted, pressing her free hand to cover their clasped ones just as they arrived at the theatre. They checked their coats in and were swiftly ushered to their seats. Kathryn leaned into him, quietly sharing the Bolshoi Ballet’s history until the lights faded and the theatre went quiet.

Her hand once again found his when the curtain rose.

***

They returned to San Francisco at dinnertime, finding a quiet restaurant away from the city’s hustle and bustle. After placing their orders, Kathryn slid her hand across the table to grasp Chakotay’s.

Chakotay knew how much of a tactile person Kathryn was, but seeing her fully settle comfortably into their familiarity, coupled with the freedom from command restraints, he realised how much she really held back whilst on Voyager. He was genuinely enjoying how open she was with her touches, and he himself took her cues and didn’t hold back.

Their meals arrived, and she reluctantly let go of his hand. They talked more about the ballet, Kathryn sharing more about her childhood.

“Do you think you would have pursued ballet?” he asked over a mouthful of mushroom risotto.

She tapped her fork against her plate, eyeing his risotto, “My first love was science, as much as I did love dancing. Switch?”

He chuckled, picking up his plate to swap with her gnocchi. 

“You must have done something other than camping and basic survival, Chakotay?”

“There really wasn’t much to do on Dorvan. My dad made us learn about how our ancestors lived but I suppose I had a much less structured childhood than yours. We were left to ourselves so we did a lot of exploring and swimming at the nearby rivers and lakes, and then there was woodworking and sand painting. I remember how excited I was when I joined Starfleet Academy, it was so different from what my life was before,” he said.

She smiled, “Odd how we both wanted what the other had, isn’t it? You wanted more structure in your days and I wanted to do what I wanted. Every time mom would remind me I had a tennis or ballet lesson, I was in the middle of a quantum mechanics problem. She had to rip padds away from me a few times.”

They continued their easy conversation until their empty plates were taken away, and Kathryn called for the dessert menu.

“Will you share with me?” she asked over the menu, almost pleading.

Chakotay sighed, patting his stomach dramatically, “As long as you actually eat your half.”

She rolled her eyes, placing the order, and Chakotay found how much he still wanted to please her, to make her happy, even if it meant possibly eating most of dessert. It was something he realised he never felt with anyone else, not even with Seven.

Dessert was swiftly brought to the table, along with coffee for Kathryn and tea for Chakotay, although only one fork was placed next to the plate of tiramisu. Chakotay tried to signal to ask for another, but Kathryn waved him off.

She picked up the fork, stabbing a piece of the Italian dessert and placing it in her mouth. As she chewed, she passed the fork to him, cradling her coffee in her hand.

He broke off a piece of tiramisu, popping it into his mouth, before pointing out, “I still don’t know how you can have coffee this late and be able to sleep at night.”

Kathryn sipped her coffee, eyes closed, “How long have you known me for, Chakotay? The Admiral told me she gave up coffee. It didn’t sound like she had a life I particularly wanted to live.”

She opened her eyes. 

He said, “We have a rendezvous with a whole new destiny. You said so yourself, remember? You’re nothing like the old Admiral, Kathryn. You’re still the Kathryn I know.” He broke off another piece of dessert with the fork, offering the fork up to her.

Instead, she leaned forward, parting her lips. She closed them over the fork, sliding back and chewing, her eyes never leaving Chakotay’s. The air between them suddenly crackled with the tension that sat just beneath the surface of their revived friendship. 

Kathryn put down her cup, watching as Chakotay offered another bite of tiramisu to her. Instead, she took the fork from him, offering it to him as he just did to her. He leaned forward to accept her offering, closing his mouth over the dessert. Kathryn didn’t realise she was holding her breath until he pulled back. She breathed out softly, Chakotay watching her. 

They finished feeding each other the last of the tiramisu, although Kathryn was quite sure she had the lion’s share of the coffee-infused treat. When they rose to leave, he placed his hand on the small of her back to guide her towards where their coats hung at the entrance. He helped her into her coat before pulling his on, and then his hand settled back in its place. Even through the layers of clothing she could feel the heat of his hand.

As they walked in silence towards her house, Chakotay’s hand slid around to grasp her waist. She did the same, and she felt him drop a kiss to her head. Being so close to him, she could detect the slightly musky, spicy scent that was entirely him, the same that permeated through his quarters on Voyager. In times of peril in the Delta Quadrant, and there were many, she found his presence centred and reassured her.

They climbed the few steps up the front porch. Refusing to let go, she turned towards him, her other hand circling him to link with the other around his back, burying her face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head. She could feel every breath stir the hairs on top.

Kathryn felt him pull away first, and she tilted her head up to look at him. His hands came to rest on her shoulders, thumbs gently caressing her exposed collarbone. His eyes were darkened orbs, the look he was giving her was more than what she caught when they were alone on Voyager. He had no reason to hide his feelings anymore, and the force of the unbidden desire in his eyes nearly made her knees buckle.

She unlinked her hands from around him to press against his heart. Finding it pounding as hard as hers was, she lifted herself on her toes to finally kiss him. 

He met her halfway, and as soon as their lips touched, Kathryn felt the bond, the connection between them all this time, cement itself into their very souls. If she died tomorrow, she would be happy knowing she shared this moment with him.

She felt his tongue slide across her lower lip, coaxing her mouth open. He explored for a while, before she eagerly pushed back with her own tongue. His hands around her back ran up and down before settling low to draw spine-tingling circles. Her own hands slide up to around his neck, drawing him closer.

Reluctantly, she finally released her mouth from his, although she kept her hold around his neck. They were both breathing heavily, and Chakotay quickly planted a kiss on her nose.

She screwed up her face, nose crinkling, and he laughed softly, “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

Kathryn found herself blushing, still getting used to his unrestrained affections. She sighed, knowing the hour was late, and she had an early start in the morning.

“If I didn’t have to head out so early tomorrow, I might ask you to show me everything else you’ve always wanted to do,” she purred.

She smirked when Chakotay sucked in a breath, before he recovered and leaned into her ear. 

“It’s a very long list, Kathyn,” he said, before gently kissing just under her ear. She shuddered.

Chakotay released her, “You should get some rest. I don’t want a half-Klingon after me if the Admiral doesn’t make it to Voyager tomorrow.”

Kathryn kissed him again before finally entering the code on her door. Pushing it open, she stepped inside before turning back to him.

“See you when I get back?” she asked.

“Comm me on your way home,” he replied.

She watched as he walked away, finally shutting the door. She leaned her forehead on the door, a hand reaching up to trace her lips where his mouth had been.

***

Kathryn’s boots clicked against the ground as she wound through Starfleet’s shuttle bay. A soft smile was etched on her face this morning as her mind drifted back to last night. She very much wanted Chakotay to stay, but with today’s early start, she didn’t want to rush them both. It was high past time they moved their relationship along. She was certainly not interested in waiting any longer to take the next step, now that they were both on the same page.

The doors to the shuttle bay groaned open. While not too busy, she still had to walk across the rows of parked shuttles, searching for B’Elanna. She finally stopped a Lieutenant hurrying past her.

“Lieutenant, which shuttle is assigned to Commander Torres?”

The Lieutenant paused to look down at a padd, before pointing ahead, “If you go straight up that way, five shuttles to your left, Admiral. It’s the Hedy.”

She thanked the Lieutenant and followed his instructions, finding B’Elanna just inside the open hatch, checking through data on a console.

“Commander Torres,” she said.

Torres looked up from the console, turning to greet Janeway, “Good morning, Admiral. We’re just about done with pre-flight checks.”

Janeway stepped into the shuttle, heading towards one of the pilot seats. Above the consoles, a flask lay on top of it. Torres joined her, taking a seat beside her and initiating the closing of the hatch.

“That’s coffee, by the way,” Torres said, indicating the flask.

Janeway paused from her pre-flight check to grab the flask, unscrewing the top to pull out the hidden cups and pouring one for each of them. She’d already had a cup this morning, but who was she to turn down another?

She placed the second cup on top of Torres’ console, who nodded her thanks. With one hand holding her cup, she took a sip as her free hand flew over her console.

“We’re good to go here, Admiral,” she said, initiating the closing of the hatch.

“Likewise, Commander.”

Torres initiated the comm link, “Shuttlecraft Hedy ready to launch.”

“You’re clear, Hedy,” came the disembodied voice.

Torres engaged thrusters and the shuttlecraft lifted, flying towards the open bay doors. There were patches of cloud, otherwise the dawn sky was just tinged pink.

The sky rapidly turned dark as they passed the stratosphere, Torres readjusting their course just as they broke free of Earth’s gravitational field.

The two gazed at the viewscreen, punctuated by nearby moons, planets, twinkling stars and busy space traffic passing between their shuttle.

Janeway leaned back into her seat, sighing, “I’ve missed being in space.”

Torres cast a sideways glance, “Aren’t Admirals desk-bound?”

“Mmm, not all. Admiral Aly’s stationed at Deep Space Five. Nechayev spends a lot of time near the Romulan border.”

“For what it’s worth, it’s going to be weird being back on Voyager without you, Admiral,” Torres said.

Janeway smiled, “She’s in good hands, B’Elanna. I can’t wait to see her again.”

“Did I tell you Tom’s designed a Klingon childcaring hologram for Miral? We used the Doctor’s holographic matrix as a template and he’s helping Tom test it,” Torres said, steering the shuttle.

“I didn’t know that. That will come in useful, but you won’t be short of babysitters,” Janeway said.

Torres chuckled, “No, we won’t. The Doctor and Harry are already on the list.”

Janeway’s console beeped. She sat up, “We’re approaching Utopia Planitia.”

Torres disengaged impulse, putting the shuttle into thrusters as she maneuvered her way towards where Voyager was dry-docked while Janeway opened a channel.

“Shuttlecraft Hedy to Utopia Planitia.”

“Go ahead.”

“Permission to dock inside Voyager’s shuttle bay.”

“Voyager shuttle bay doors opening, Hedy. You are clear to land.”

They watched as the bay doors opened. Torres guided their shuttle closer, gliding inside and setting it down.

Janeway activated the shuttle hatch, rising from her seat, Torres following behind. They stepped into the cold, empty shuttle bay.

Torres looked around, “I was expecting one of the Engineers assigned to meet us here.”

Before Janeway could answer, the phaser beams hit them.

***

Janeway came to, feeling her head spin as her vision adjusted along with her consciousness. She felt sore, almost as if she had been tossed about like a rag doll. Her wrists were cuffed in front of her, but her legs were free. Several strands of hair had escaped from the french twist she now favoured.

She took inventory of her surroundings. She was on a ship, or a shuttle, that much she could tell, and they were travelling at warp.

She heard the footsteps first, and then the shadow of Commander Darran loomed over her, phaser in hand.

Janeway narrowed her eyes, “What is the meaning of this, Commander?”

“Get up,” he snapped, pointing the phaser at her. She raised herself up, and he gestured for her to start walking.

They took several steps, turning the corner to what Janeway could describe as a control room. She could see Torres’ back where she worked on a console. 

Darran pushed her forward towards Torres. They stopped at her console, and Janeway could see now that B’Elanna’s hands were also cuffed as she struggled to work on the console. Torres looked up at their approach, and Janeway caught the cut on her lower lip and angry bruise on one cheek. Her wrists were bruised from where she struggled with the cuffs.

He pressed the phaser into Janeway’s neck, “You’re going to instruct her to help. Any tricks, she dies first.”

Darran releases the phaser from her neck, then walks away.

“I’ll need you to help me assess the integration of the cloaking device into the computer system,” Torres said quietly, not looking at Janeway.

Janeway turned back, seeing Darran working on a panel well out of earshot.

“Where are we, Torres?” she asked.

The half-Klingon swallowed, clearly upset.

“A Cardassian ATR-4107 missile,” she whispered.

_ Another Dreadnought? _ Janeway thought, swallowing the bile rising in her throat.

***

Tom frantically keyed in Chakotay’s comm, mumbling, “Come on...”

His future Captain’s image appeared seconds later.

“Commander?” Chakotay asked.

“Captain, have you heard from Admiral Janeway?” Tom asked.

Chakotay shook his head, “Not since last night. She said she was heading to Voyager with B’Elanna today.”

“That was this morning, Chakotay. They were due back an hour ago. Their shuttle is still on Voyager but Utopia Planitia confirmed there are no lifesigns onboard the shuttle or Voyager,” Tom said, tamping down the rising panic in his voice, “And before you ask, my father’s already looking into it, but you know how slow official Starfleet channels can be.”

Worried now, Chakotay said, “I’ll meet you at headquarters. Where’s Miral?”

“She’s with me, but I can leave her with my mother,” Tom said.

Chakotay nodded, closing the comm, immediately opening another to Harry Kim.

“Captain!” Harry exclaimed seconds later.

“Lieutenant, I don’t have much time to explain, but I need you and Seven to get to Voyager. Admiral Janeway and Torres were last seen there, see what you can find. They were due back this afternoon.”

Harry nodded, “I’ll let Seven know. Kim out.”

Chakotay contacted Vulcan next.

Tuvok’s face filled the screen, his eyebrows raised, “Captain, this is unexpected.”

“Commander, the Admiral and Torres are missing. They were last seen on Voyager. Harry and Seven are on their way there to see what they can find,” Chakotay explained.

“Of course, Captain. I believe you wish me to assist?” Tuvok asked.

“Yes. Find out more about Commander Darran. Kathryn mentioned he was asking B’Elanna a lot of questions. I’m heading over to Starfleet to meet Tom.”

Tuvok nodded, “I shall begin my enquiries now and arrange a transport to Earth.”

Chakotay’s comm screen went blank. He quickly got up to change into his uniform.

***

“Report, Commander,” Janeway said, careful not to raise her voice and to keep working, which was proving difficult with her cuffed hands.

Torres stared straight at the console, murmuring, “The vessel is identical to the Cardassian missile the Maquis intercepted, but most of the systems were probably salvaged from junk yards. We’re currently at warp 3.”

The two stopped as soon as they heard Darran approach. Janeway figured as the senior officer she may as well try to find out as much as possible.

“Commander, please. Whatever it is you are doing, Starfleet…” Janeway started.

“Starfleet will do nothing,” Darran snapped, “As they have always done. Standing by while watching billions die is what Starfleet does. From the Occupation to the War, they did nothing until they were threatened themselves.”

Torres tried to interject, only for Darran to spit out, “Nothing from you either, Maquis.”

He stalked away, leaving the two to continue working.

Torres whispered again, “The computer systems are non-adaptive, he hasn’t been able to achieve that level of sophistication with all the older parts. There’s also a cloaking device."

“A cloaking device?” Janeway asked.

“Romulan.”

Janeway’s heart sank. If they were cloaked it would be near impossible for Tom and Chakotay to find them. 

She hoped Tom would soon realise B’Elanna hadn’t returned as scheduled and alerted Chakotay and Starfleet. 

“The cloaking device doesn’t integrate well with Cardassian technology, and we can’t travel faster than warp 3 without decloaking. It keeps breaking down every so often along with the warp drive, which is meant to enhance the detonation of the missile,” Torres added.

Janeway nodded. Starfleet might be able to pick up a warp trail if they decloaked, in the meantime she and B’Elanna would need to find a way to slow Darran down. The additional matter and antimatter linked to the warp core worried her. A catastrophic failure of the warp core would cause an explosion to wipe out a fairly large moon.

They heard Darran approach again, looking up to see him holding the phaser. He gestured for them to move to a nearby wall as he checked over the work they had completed. He produced a hypospray from his other hand.

At the sight of the hypospray, Torres made to lunge at him. He quickly pointed the phaser at Janeway. Torres stepped back against the wall.

He pressed the hypospray to Torres’ neck, who slumped unconscious against the wall, followed by Janeway.

***

Tom had managed to commandeer an office with several terminals when Chakotay arrived at Starfleet. 

“Harry and Seven just arrived on Voyager, they’re scanning the shuttle bay now,” Tom said.

One of the comm units started to beep. Chakotay hurried over to answer.

“Captain, I have done some research on Commander Darran, and contacted Lieutenant Ayala who is on his way to you now. It appears the Commander has been asking questions of the rest of the crew. Mr Ayala will fill you in,” Tuvok said.

The door to the suite beeped, then opened, revealing Mike Ayala and Susan Nicoletti.

Tuvok continued, “Commander Darran’s Starfleet career has been unremarkable, his postings mostly consisted overseeing ship refurbishments. I did note, however, that Commander Darran was married to a Bajoran on one of the Cardassian-occupied colonies. The colony received word of an impending attack by the Cardassians and sent a distress call to the Maquis. However, the Maquis did not arrive on time and his wife died during the attack.”

Chakotay let out the breath he was holding. It was likely the Maquis were spread too thin by then to help every colony under threat.

He detected an imperceptible change to the Vulcan’s demeanour.

“There’s something else,” Chakotay said.

“Yes, Captain. Prior to the occupation, the Commander relocated his children to Earth. They were casualties in the Breen attack.”

Tom, who had been listening in, let out a strangled sound.

“Thank you, Tuvok. We’ll see you here soon,” Chakotay said, ending the transmission.

He turned to Mike and Susan, “Report.”

***

Torres instantly felt the pain in her ribs when she awoke. She was drenched in sweat and her heart was beating rapidly. Her nostrils then detected a slight sour scent, and she became aware that her chest was soaked. Usually she wouldn’t need to pump milk for many hours, but her body felt like it was on overdrive.

A shadow loomed over her, and she looked up. Darran had a phaser pointed at her. He kicked her ribs again, and she doubled over.

“Up,” he ordered.

She lurched gingerly to her feet. She pressed her cuffed hands to her heart, willing it to slow down. She took the few steps to the console, trying not to pant.

“Finish the integrating the Borg nanoprobes to the cloaking device,” he said.

Thirty seconds later a perspiring Janeway stumbled up to the console, her cuffed hands also pressed against her chest.

“We’ll need to access one of the relays ” Torres said, loud enough for Darran to hear as he walked away.

“What… what’s happening?” Janeway ground out.

Torres took a deep breath, her heart still racing, “What do you remember last?”

“The… the hypospray,” Janeway said. Both realised they were likely administered with a sedative that was causing a negative reaction to their bodies.

“Oh, B’Elanna!” Janeway exclaimed, noticing her soaked uniform front.

“It’s okay,” Torres said. Janeway laid both her cuffed hands on Torres’ shoulder in sympathy, before her expression morphed into one of fury.

Torres looked up in Darran’s direction. He was engrossed in his own terminal. Trying to focus, she pulled up the missile’s navigational system and detonation sequence. She could access them from her console, but was unable to make any changes without Darran noticing.

Janeway’s shoulder touched hers as she peered at the coordinates.

“The Breen homeworld?”

Torres’ eyes widened.

***

Commander Paris sent Lieutenant Ayala to brief Admiral Paris on the situation. Moments before, he and Chakotay listened as Ayala and Nicoletti gave their report.

Ayala examined Voyager’s databases and discovered specific logs had been regularly accessed and finally downloaded to an unspecified location. Word had spread by then that Janeway and Torres were missing, and Nicoletti had contacted him to relay hers and Vorik’s odd encounter with Darran.

Lieutenants Nicoletti and Vorik had found themselves disposed to Commander Darran when Paris and Torres left for Indiana, both travelling from their homeworlds to assist the lead engineer. Vorik had found his line of questioning illogical, and when Darran appeared to not get the information he was after, questioned Nicoletti next. She showed him some engineering logs on Borg nanoprobes she, Torres and Seven had worked on previously that seemed to satisfy him until Torres returned.

Paris ran a hand over his face. He glanced over at Chakotay, bent over a console studying Darran’s file.

His comm beeped. Paris leaned forward to answer. Harry and Seven’s faces filled the screen.

“Commander, Seven and I completed an initial sweep of Voyager’s shuttle bay. We detected residual phaser fire just outside the Hedy,” Harry said.

Chakotay sat down next to Paris.

“We ran a less conventional scan of the shuttle bay using Borg algorithms after finding the residual phaser fire. We detected a cloaked vessel,” said Seven.

“A cloaked vessel?” Chakotay asked.

Seven looked between Chakotay and Tom, “Aye, Captain. Cardassian.”

Tom’s eyes widened. _ Have the Cardassians developed cloaking technology? _he thought.

“This is where it gets interesting. The residual warp signature’s Cardassian, but the cloak was definitely Romulan,” Harry finished.

“I also took the liberty of running a check through Voyager’s systems. Some of the modified Borg nanoprobes were extracted from Engineering this morning,” Seven added.

Chakotay scanned the padd in his hand, “Starfleet last extracted the nanoprobes several months ago under Seven’s supervision. There were no other authorisations allowing further extraction.”

Seven’s brow furrowed, “The Admiral and Commander Torres may be coerced into reprogramming them for other purposes.”

Harry looked worried as Tom and Chakotay exchanged a look.

“Harry, Seven, collect as much information as you can on anything out of the ordinary and stand by,” Chakotay said.

“Aye, Captain,” Harry replied, closing the connection.

Chakotay’s combadge chirped next.

“Ayala to Captain Chakotay.”

“Chakotay here.”

“Sir, I’ve just briefed Admiral Paris. He’s been trying to contact Commander Darran. We are unable to locate him,” Ayala said.

Chakotay was convinced of Darran’s involvement. He’s had maybe ten hours head start, but if he knew Kathryn and B’Elanna, they would be finding ways to slow him down.

***

The missile halted to a stop near an asteroid field, decloaking them at the same time. Janeway watched as Darran frantically tried to bring the engines and the cloaking devices back online.

He walked over to Janeway and Torres, “What’s going on?”

Torres looked at the readings, “The cloaking device is compromising the duality of the warp core. By using the matter and antimatter to power the warp core and act as a detonator to the additional matter and antimatter we’re carrying, the nanoprobes keeps rerouting itself every time we go further than warp 3.”

Darran was beginning to lose his temper. 

“We still have thrusters. You,” he said to Janeway, “Take us towards the field, and then I want you,” he looked at Torres, “To find a way to get the cloaking device back online and get us faster than warp 3.”

He grabbed Torres’ arm, dragging her towards the warp core where the cloaking device was located. She resisted his pulling, and he slapped her hard across the face. Janeway stepped forward, but Darran pulled his phaser.

Janeway put her cuffed hands up, watching as Torres recovered and allowed Darran to pull her along again.

She initiated thrusters, guiding the missile towards the field. She wondered if she could access the power grid to encode a distress message within the waste energy of the missile’s propulsion systems. Whilst Darran was distracted with Torres, she quickly accessed the power grid. She smiled grimly, thinking of her Maquis crew and all the tricks she’d learned from them.

***

“Captain, we’ve picked up a distress signal!” Tom nearly shouted.

Chakotay rushed towards where Tom was sitting as the message decoded. They both scanned the decoded message.

He said, “It’s a good start. Where’s the Delta Flyer?”

“In the shuttle bay. I can get it ready now,” Tom replied, standing up.

“Do it. Ayala, you stay here and coordinate comms, keep me updated if you get any further information. Tuvok should be arriving soon, I’ll direct him to the shuttle bay. We’re going to get Harry from Voyager. We could use their modified sensors to track the missile.”

“Aye, sir,” Tom and Mike chorused.

“We might need a medic,” Chakotay slapped his combadge, “Chakotay to the Doctor.”

***

B’Elanna had done all she could to stall the repairs to the cloaking device. Darran was growing agitated, and he’d already hit her several times to hurry up. Once she had the device working again, they’d re-cloaked and jumped to warp 3.

He pushed her as she half stumbled back to Admiral Janeway. He’d hit her pretty hard and it hurt to breathe now, but at least the effects of the sedative was less pronounced, she could almost feel her heartbeat slowing slightly. But, she was still sweating profusely.

She fell again just as she reached the console. Janeway reached down to help her up. She could see Janeway was also drenched in sweat, tendrils of hair plastered on the sides of her face. She imagined she looked much the same.

When Darran was out of earshot, Janeway whispered, “I’ve sent a distress signal. Let’s hope Starfleet picks it up.”

Torres nodded. Her thoughts instantly went to Tom and Miral. 

***

Tom, Chakotay, the Doctor and Tuvok looked out of the Delta Flyer’s viewscreen as it approached Utopia Planitia.

“Tuvok to Lieutenant Kim, standby for transport.”

The shimmer of a transporter beam appeared at the aft of the Flyer and Harry materialised.

“Captain,” Harry said, “We’ve managed to isolate the cloaked warp signature within a radius of fifty-thousand kilometres, using the nanoprobes we should be able to bypass the randomised EM fields and ion radiation emitted by the missile to follow the trail past the location of the distress signal. Seven will keep trying to further isolate the warp signature from Voyager.”

“Acknowledged,” Tom said, “Course laid in, Warp 6.”

***

Janeway found herself shaken awake, this time by Torres. She was drenched in sweat, heart racing. Torres looked just as bad, sweat dripping off her.

“Again?” she breathed out.

Torres nodded, “He needs us for something else. Can you get up?”

Janeway tried to stand, Torres grabbing her arm to help her. Together they stumbled towards the console they were assigned to.

Darran again came over, barking instructions before disappearing.

“How far are we from the Breen homeworld?” Janeway whispered.

“ETA three hours,” Torres replied.

Janeway was worried. They had to find a way to divert the missile away from the planet. If the Breen were attacked, they would surely pin this on Cardassia, instigating another all out war. She had no doubt the Federation would be dragged in.

“We need to disable the cloaking device,” Janeway said.

Torres agreed, “We’re passing through Ferengi space now, if we decloak long enough a Ferengi patrol ship might detect us.”

Janeway focused on the console in front of her, “I’m going to try and initiate the decloaking sequence from here.”

“I’ll see if I can cover your tracks.”

The two women worked silently, keeping an eye on Darran at the other end of the ship. Torres watches as Janeway sinks to her knees to open a panel, and she whispers several instructions.

Minutes later, they felt the tell-tale phase variance shift, followed by Darran’s curse as he keyed in commands on his console. Janeway had already replaced the panel and was standing.

“What have you done?” he bellowed, stalking over. He looked over their console. Torres had covered their tracks sufficiently, but it wasn’t enough for Darran not to be suspicious.

He struck Torres, who was closest to him. Her body bounced against the console before she fell over. He continued to deliver blows on Torres until Janeway lunged at him. He punched her just as the vessel lurched.

Darran glanced at the console, “We’ve been detected by a Ferengi patrol. We’re under attack!”

Momentarily distracted, he pulls up the weapons system to target the patrol ship. The ship lurched a second time and an EPS relay explodes behind the women, before stabilising again.

Darran reinitialised the cloaking sequence, the sensation of the phase variance enveloping the vessel.

Janeway tries to help Torres up. The half-Klingon groans, clutching at her ribs.

“Broken?” Janeway asked.

“Cracked, maybe,” Torres said, trying to remain optimistic.

Darran appeared, shadowing them. He tosses a toolkit at Janeway.

“Fix the relays. If you try anything else, you both die.”

***

“Captain, I’ve detected weapons fire that matches the Cardassian missile’s weapons signature. Two light years ahead,” Harry said.

“A Ferengi patrol’s weapons array has been disabled at the same location,” Tuvok added.

“Looks like we’re on the right track. Any update from Seven?” Chakotay asked.

“She’s narrowed the warp signature of the missile. A phase modulated variance using Borg nanoprobes can detect and target the missile within a radius of one kilometre,” Harry replied.

Tom said, “Borg nanoprobes? Please tell me…”

Harry held up an isolinear chip, “Seven anticipated we might need them. I’ll need some time to programme these.”

“Good work, all of you. Tom, I need you to get in range of the missile. Maximum warp,” Chakotay ordered.

“Aye, sir.”

***

Torres handed the tricorder over to Janeway as she fixed the relay. The younger woman watched as the Admiral scanned the relay and nods with satisfaction. The pain in her ribs had lulled to a pulsing ache. She glanced over at the console.

“We’ve reached Breen space,” Torres murmured.

Janeway swung around to confirm Torres’ comments.

“We need to do something,” Janeway said.

Darran’s console emitted a beep. Janeway and Torres peer at their own station as readings come up.

“One Breen patrol ship five hundred kilometres away. They haven’t detected us,” Torres observed.

Janeway’s cuffed hands jerkily moved over the console. She said, “I’ve detected weapons fire from the Breen ships… at a Starfleet shuttle.”

Torres’ eyes widened, “The Flyer?”

Janeway nodded at the confirming warp signature.

“We need to find a way to disable the cloaking device so they can see us,” Janeway said.

They watched as Darran observed the same data on his console. He entered several commands, then looked over at them.

“You sent a distress signal!” he screamed. He rushed them. Janeway placed herself between him and Torres, using her cuffed hands to push at him. Darran tumbled to the ground.

“Torres!” Janeway shouted, falling over Darran in an attempt to pin him.

Torres stumbles rapidly over to the warp core’s station. Despite her cuffed hands, she works as quickly as she can on the cloaking device, followed by the warp core. She realises Darran had put measures against them attempting to decloak again. Torres begins to look at options.

“B’Elanna!” Janeway shouts again. Torres swiftly turns ahead to see Janeway struggling with Darran, a battle she was losing.

An explosion erupts, nearly throwing her off the station. From the station, she detects a phased variance weapons fire just off the aft. 

_ The Flyer! _

Adrenaline coursing through her, Torres works to disable the cloaking device and warp core. Using an old trick she learned during a skirmish in the Delta Quadrant, she initiates a sequence to redirect the power from the deflector shields towards the internal power relays. It would cause internal explosions across the conduits, but would keep the missile intact.

She turned again in time to see Darran finally overpowering Janeway, pulling out his phaser. He was immediately rocked by an explosion from a bulkhead just behind him. Torres she felt the tell-tale shift just as several bulkheads and conduits exploded around them.

Janeway had managed to pull open a panel. Torres couldn’t see what she was doing, but from her station she could see the conduit nearby was about to explode.

“Admiral!” she screamed.

Torres watched with horror as Janeway was thrown back by the force of the explosion, a loose bulkhead falling over her. She could just make out a leg from the fallen debris.

***

“Captain, sensors and weapons have been modulated with the nanoprobes to detect the phase variance,” Harry said.

“Start scanning,” Chakotay ordered.

An interminable amount of second flew by, until Harry shouted, “I’ve detected a cloaked vessel, sending their coordinates to the helm!”

“Paris…” Chakotay started.

“Full impulse to the coordinates,” Paris said, reading Chakotay’s mind.

“Captain, the missile has just decloaked! Their shields are at 50%, and I’m detecting damage inside,” Tom said.

“Captain, the missile is headed for the Breen planet. At present speed time to detonation is ten minutes.”

Chakotay ran a hand through his hair, “We need to disable their shields first.”

Tuvok said, “Captain, we are within firing range of the missile.”

“Target their shields!”

They watched on the viewscreen as the phaser hit the shields.

“Their shields are down to twenty-seven percent. I am targeting their deflector,” Tuvok said.

***

Torres felt the Flyer’s phaser fire rock the missile again. She falls, her cuffed hands clutching at her middle. She tries to stand, only to be knocked back by a swift blow to her face.

Darran, bloodied but still standing, stamped hard on her abdomen, thighs and anywhere he could reach, the force of his anger channeled through the violent blows he was inflicting. Torres screamed, but it only seemed to fuel his outburst.

***

Tuvok glanced at the viewscreen, then back to his station, “Captain, shields are down. I am detecting three lifesigns, one unconscious. Shall I transport them?”

“Negative. The missile’s course heading is still the Breen homeworld. Tom, keep pursuing the missile, we may have to put ourselves in its path.”

“Captain, without a way to communicate with Admiral Janeway or Commander Torres, we cannot predict their actions,” Tuvok said.

Tom, still keeping his eyes on the viewscreen as he pursued the missile, snapped, “The Admiral and Commander will be doing everything they can to stop the missile. We just need to give them time!”

“We’ll give them as much time as we can. Tom, prepare to intercept on my mark,” Chakotay said.

They watched as the Flyer approached the missile.

***

Darran finally hauled Torres up from the ground. Gripping her uniform, he snarled, “You’re going to increase impulse speed while I re-initialise the detonation sequence.”

Torres struggled to balance on one leg, feeling excruciating pain on the one Darran had stomped on. From where she was, she could see the terminal’s readings. 

She mustered all her strength to speak, despite the pain all over her body and the realisation she had trouble breathing now. She gave him a defiant smile, “The Admiral’s manually bypassed the detonation control circuit. This missile’s going to blow in sixty seconds”

Darran’s eyes widened. He lets go of Torres and she slumps to the ground. Another explosion rocks the missile, sending a bulkhead flying. 

Torres sees Darran frantically trying to cancel the detonation sequence. She heard the telltale sound of the transporter, and from the corner of her eye the leg belonging to Janeway shimmered out of existence.

A transporter beam envelopes Darran, who quickly notices and changes what he is doing on the console. The beam fades without him.

_ Dampening field_, Torres thought.

Struggling, she crawls close enough to Darran, whose attention was now back to attempting to reverse the detonation sequence. Using her good leg and leveraging off the other one, she swallows her pain as she swipes Darran. He falls, hitting his head on the console. 

Torres grabs the console and hauls herself up, releasing the dampening field.

Next to her, Darran manages to do the same, but she disappears in the shimmer of the transporter just as his fingers begin to work on the console.

***

“I’ve got Commander Torres, Captain,” Tuvok said.

“Captain, both the Admiral and Torres are severely injured. I suggest we send a distress call for medical assistance immediately,” the Doctor called from the aft.

“Tuvok, can you get a lock on Darran?” Chakotay asked.

“Negative. The dampening field has been reactivated.”

“Captain, the missile will detonate in ten seconds,” Harry warns.

“Reversing course!” Tom cries.

Chakotay, Tom, Tuvok and Harry watched as the missile explodes, sending shockwaves. Tom expertly maneuvers the Flyer, its passengers only feeling a mild jolt.

Chakotay let out the breath he was holding.

“Tom, take us out of Breen space, warp speed. Harry, send a medical distress call to the nearest Federation starship, then get Admiral Paris on the comm. Starfleet’s going to have to explain our trespass to the Breen.”

“Aye sir,” replied the two men.

***

Commander Torres slowly opened her eyes, adjusting to the glare of the lights.

Lights? She thought.

Her eyes began to focus, and an arm appeared over her, scanning with a tricorder.

“Commander?” came a disembodied voice. It took her a few seconds to recognise where it came from.

She turned her head slightly to the left, seeing the arm attached to the Doctor.

“Doctor?” she asked weakly.

“Welcome back, Commander. Please don’t try to sit up, your body is still healing,” he said, gently placing a hand on her shoulder to hold her in place.

She looked up at the ceiling, “I’m on a Starfleet vessel.”

“Yes,” he replied, “The Colossus, to be exact. The Delta Flyer II rendezvoused with them two days ago.”

Two days? The Delta Flyer II?

In a flash her recent memories flooded back and she nearly sat up, if not for the Doctor wisely having kept his hand on her shoulder.

“The Admiral!” she croaked.

“Admiral Janeway is fine, Commander.”

The Doctor nodded to her right. Torres shifted her head and from the other end she could see Admiral Janeway, marks and bruises gone, still unconscious several biobeds away.

“She’s asleep now,” the Doctor said, almost sensing her assumption, “You sustained several cracked ribs, a fractured femur, punctured lung, and swelling to your brain, among other things. I’ve managed to synthesise an antidote to the illegal Ferengi drug, so no doubt you will be feeling quite fatigued until it passes through your system.”

Torres winced as he ran through the checklist of all her injuries. Now that she was fully awake, she felt the protestations of her recently healed body.

She heard the hiss of Sickbay’s doors. Within seconds Tom came into her view.

Her husband pressed a gentle kiss to her temple, “Thank goodness. You scared us all for a second there.”

“If it weren’t for my excellent triage skills during some highly questionable flying,” the Doctor interjected smugly.

Two pairs of eyes glared at the Doctor, before he got the message and walked away, muttering to himself.

“What happened?” B’Elanna asked once the Doctor was out of earshot.

Tom took one of her hands. “We caught up with the missile just before it exploded in space. Harry managed to beam you and Admiral Janeway onboard the Flyer before we rendezvoused with the Colossus. You saved billions of lives and stopped a war,” he said, fingers gently stroking her cheek.

She hesitated, “Darran?”

“He suppressed the transporter lock on him. We couldn’t get him.”

B’Elanna broke her gaze on Tom to stare at the ceiling. She sighed, “He should be tried for his actions.”

“I know. What he was about to do was...” he trailed off.

"I know," B'Elanna said. She shuddered to think what would have happened if she and Admiral Janeway hadn’t succeeded in stopping him. While there was no love lost between her and the Cardassians, deliberately setting up a war between the Breen and the diminished Cardassians would have unnecessarily dragged the Federation into a war they could not afford to have.

“Where is…” she began to ask.

“Miral’s with my parents. The Colossus had to make a few stops, but we will reach Earth’s orbit in 30 hours,” Tom said.

B’Elanna suddenly felt exhausted, and her husband quickly picked up on the change.

“Why don’t you get some sleep. I’ll see you later,” he said, kissing her.

She yawned before falling asleep.

***

The next time B’Elanna woke up she felt better rested. This time it was Admiral Janeway sitting by her side, still in a medical gown and looking rather tired. 

Janeway looked around Sickbay before whispering in a conspiratorial tone, “Do you want to sit up?”

She nodded. Janeway tapped the console next to the biobed, the head slowly lifting. B’Elanna braced her hands on either side to push herself up, Kathryn wrapping an arm under her shoulders to help her.

“How are you feeling?” Kathryn asked.

“A lot better than where we were before,” B’Elanna said. 

The two women chatted quietly, piecing together the information they were provided on each of their waking in Sickbay. B’Elanna learned of Darran’s past, his grievances with both the Maquis and Starfleet’s failure to protect lives, and he carried his anger, grief and loss with him silently, waiting for the right moment.

“How did you manage to bypass the detonation control circuit?” B’Elanna asked, remembering Janeway’s last act of defiance before she was struck down.

“I reprogrammed the modified Borg nanoprobes. Four years with Seven, you learn a thing or two,” Kathryn replied, chuckling softly.

B’Elanna managed a weak smile, falling silent.

Sensing her thoughts, Kathryn patted B’Elanna’s arm, “You did the right thing, B’Elanna. You stopped a war.”

“I’m sorry, Admiral,” B’Elanna said, looking away.

The Admiral lays a hand on her arm, “Listen to me, B’Elanna. This is not your fault. Darran was on a mission for the Breen and the Cardassians to destroy each other. He already had possession of the missile long before we returned. He was looking for an opportunity and we were it.”

B’Elanna nodded, and Kathryn squeezed her arm.

They both heard the door to Sickbay open to reveal Chakotay and Tom, and from the offices on the other end the Doctor and the Colossus’ CMO emerged.

The Doctor approached the women, tutting, “Admiral! You shouldn’t even be walking right now! I’ve only just regenerated the bones on your ankle! The antidote may be working but your body still needs rest! I’m going to have to sedate you if you keep insisting on undoing all my work!”

Chakotay and the Doctor helped Janeway to her feet, and as she leaned on Chakotay for support, B’Elanna noticed she was favouring one leg over the other. When Chakotay settled the Admiral back on her biobed, he dropped a soft kiss to her lips, the sight making B’Elanna smile. Second later, the Doctor swiftly administered the Admiral with a hypospray.

Tom leaned over to whisper to B’Elanna, “Just agree to rest and he won’t sedate you, too.”

***

Kathryn settled further under her tree, wrapping the large blanket she brought around her a little tighter. It was late morning, but the daytime Indiana temperatures tended to be on the cool side at this time of the year.

Her last recollection on the Colossus was being hustled back to her own biobed by both the Doctor and Chakotay when she was caught at B’Elanna’s bedside. The Doctor administered a hypospray and when she next awoke she found herself tucked in her old bedroom in Indiana.

Chakotay had filled in the blanks for her. They were met by Admiral Paris and her mother at Starfleet Medical. Despite the Doctor’s best efforts, both Admiral Paris and Gretchen Janeway’s tirades brooked no argument. Owen now had B’Elanna recovering at his home, Tom for once agreeing with his father. Her mother insisted on having her beamed back to Indiana, taking Chakotay along and installing him in a spare room.

Which is where she had found herself convalescing for almost two weeks now. She and B’Elanna had commed each other and managed to put together the beginnings of a report, but with their respective families hovering close by, most of their conversations were kept to a minimum.

It was strange to find Chakotay in her childhood home. She always imagined she would bring him here someday, just not like this. In between sleep and wakefulness, she missed his reacquaintance with Phoebe and his introductions to Imani and her nephews. As she spent more and more time awake, she noticed he had already forged a close relationship with her mother, if her coffee intake restrictions were any indication.

After almost a week of being confined to her bedroom, Chakotay helped her downstairs following a house visit from the Doctor, who declared her fit enough to be able to move around. He took her outside, where he steadied her with an arm around her waist as she stepped into the garden to soak in the sun.

She appreciated how much Chakotay held back his fussing over her, her mother seemed to be doing enough for both of them. Which was what brought her to her tree today. Gretchen insisted she or Chakotay accompanied her, but she needed the time alone. Chakotay instinctively understood her cabin fever, and rested his hand on Gretchen’s shoulder, promising to check on Kathryn later.

When she heard soft footfalls approaching, she knew she had been outside long enough for her mother to send the cavalry. She turned to see Chakotay approaching, and she gestured for him to join her.

He sat down beside her, and Kathryn unfurled the blanket so she could wrap him in it as well. He draped his arm around her as she covered them both in the blanket, leaning into him. He dropped a kiss to her head, the hand around her playing with her shoulder-length hair.

“How long?” she asked, snuggling closer.

“She took about an hour before she sent me out. Mind you, I think with the amount of potatoes she’s peeled, we’ll be having that at every meal for a while,” Chakotay said.

Kathryn laughed, “I do like a potato hash.”

Chakotay pulled away slightly so he could look at her, “I’ll have to remember that next time I cook for you.”

“You haven’t cooked for me since we got home,” she said, pouting slightly. Chakotay’s eyes sparkled with delight. Evidently he was still trying to get used to the bolder, playful side of Kathryn, and she revelled that she could still surprise him after all these years.

Feeling energised, she tilted her head up to kiss him. She felt him hesitate at first before pressing firmly into their joined lips. He gently coaxed her mouth open, darting a tongue ever so slightly inside, and she responded by pushing her tongue back at his.

Tongues dueling, she shifted so that she was sitting on his lap. One end of the blanket threatened to fall off her shoulder, but Chakotay caught it in time, keeping them both covered. His fingers grazed against her longer hair.

Kathryn missed Chakotay’s touch. He had kept a chaste distance since she regained consciousness. In an endearing deference to being in her mother’s house, he’d limited his affections to brief kisses, a gentle hug or an arm around her when she leaned against him on the living room couch. One morning, when she was still confined to bedrest and he was reading next to her, she desperately wanted to kiss him long and hard. She got close until the creak of her opening door startled them and he pulled away.

She figured they still had time before they both needed to head back for lunch, so she moved her hands from around his back to rest on his chest, deftly flicking open the top two buttons on his shirt. She slid her hands inside his shirt, eliciting a hiss from him. He responded by gliding his hands under the bottom of her jumper, stroking her back before coming around. His fingers lightly grazed her ribs and she broke off their kiss with a gasp.

He grinned, “Is Kathryn Janeway ticklish?”

She made a face at him, and his eyes lit up at this new discovery. He chuckled and pulled her forward, kissing the side of her mouth before capturing her lips again. His hands pressed more firmly against her ribs and slid upwards, his thumbs sliding under her bra to graze the underside of her breasts. She arched into his touch, her hands moving from his chest to the nape of his neck.

Kathryn could feel the heat of arousal pool in her groin, his bare hands on her skin sending jolts of electricity through her body. His erection pressed against her own heat and she rocked slightly. Was that her moaning? Or was it him? It didn’t seem to matter.

Just as his hands travelled to her back, searching to unhook her bra, they both heard the distant call.

“Kathryn! Chakotay! Lunch is ready! Kathryn?!”

She reluctantly drew back from Chakotay, resting her forehead against his. They were both still shaking and breathing heavily. Chakotay drew his hands from under her sweater, resting them on her hips as she buttoned up his shirt.

Kathryn drew in a ragged breath. 

“I want you,” she rasped. 

The hands on her hips tightened before Chakotay said, “You don’t know half of what you do to me, Kathryn.” He kissed her.

They heard Gretchen’s calls again, coming closer. Kathryn pulled away.

“We’re coming, mom!” she called.


	8. December

Of course Kathryn would insist she was fine, he thought. Of course she would make the Doctor clear her to transport back to San Francisco. Of course she would argue with her mother on the need to debrief the incident sooner rather than later.

Of course B’Elanna Torres was itching to do the same, injuries be damned.

Captain Chakotay resisted the urge to drum his fingers against the meeting room table. When he looked across at Commander Paris, he detected a slight air of frustration. Lieutenant Kim was looking down at his hands, occasionally darting a glance in Janeway’s direction. Lieutenant Ayala was trying not to fidget, while Tuvok, the Doctor and Seven remained impassive.

Admirals Hayes and Montgomery continued their droning conversation, interrupted only by comments from Admiral Janeway and Commander Torres. Chakotay could sense Torres’ increasing impatience, tempered only by Janeway’s glances in her direction.

Chakotay could only tell Janeway was just as annoyed as them by the set in her jaw. This was the final debrief meeting and everyone expected it to be short, if not for the fact Hayes and Montgomery were now engaged in a pointless debate on who would lead the rest of Voyager’s refit.

He watched as Torres leaned over to Janeway, whispering. Janeway nodded before speaking.

“Gentlemen, I believe we all are in agreement that the classification of Voyager’s logs are to be limited to the Admiralty and any requests will require my clearance and at least two other Admirals. I don’t believe it necessary to reconvene the personnel involved in mine and Commander Torres’ rescue to discuss the finer points,” she said, saving themselves from the tedium of Starfleet bureaucracy.

Janeway continued, “I would also recommend that Voyager’s refit be continued by Lieutenant Barclay. He was instrumental during the Pathfinder project and he would be the most competent, which will give Commander Torres some reprieve. And who is still technically on leave. _ As are the rest of us_.”

Hayes and Montgomery looked at each other. Chakotay watched as Janeway steeled herself for any disagreement to the idea, which bore more merit than anything the two old Admirals had discussed.

Hayes nodded, “Very well, Janeway. We will still require some assistance from you and your staff, but we hope this will be limited with Lieutenant Barclay at the helm, so to speak. Thank you all for your time. Dismissed.”

Everyone stood as the Admirals made their way out of the conference room.

Harry’s shoulders sagged slightly, “That’s a relief.”

Tom clapped a hand on Harry’s back, “Thanks for helping us, Harry. We couldn’t have done it without you.”

B’Elanna and Kathryn rounded the table to join the men. “Likewise, Harry. If you hadn’t found us on time…” B’Elanna’s voice trailed off.

“There’s no need for that, B’Elanna,” Kathryn interjected, “We’re all safe and free to go. Voyager’s in good hands now.”

The group filed out of the conference room, chatting until they exited the building. Seven, the Doctor, Harry and Ayala said their goodbyes and scattered into various directions.

“When will you be back home, Tom?” Chakotay asked.

Tom glanced sideways at B’Elanna, “When the Doctor says we can.”

Chakotay understood. The Doctor and Gretchen had only relented to letting Kathryn return to San Francisco if he remained with her, along with regular visits to the Doctor. He can’t imagine Tom and the elder Paris’ having much of an easier time with B’Elanna either.

“They’ve been a great help with Miral,” B’Elanna admitted. Chakotay smiled wryly. It was probably the closest B’Elanna would admit to the lingering effects of the drug.

Kathryn placed a hand on B’Elanna’s arm, “Go and get some rest. When you’re back at yours we’ll have dinner.”

Tom tapped his combadge to request a direct transport for him and B’Elanna. They were quickly enveloped in the transporter beam’s shimmer.

Chakotay turned to Kathryn, “Shall we? Doctor’s orders.”

He watched as Kathryn debated with herself. The Doctor insisted on site-to-site transports for as long as he deemed necessary, which naturally, Kathryn had found excessive.

She sighed, “I suppose.”

Chakotay tapped his combadge.

***

Kathryn picked up another spoonful of stew, shoveling it into her mouth. When they returned to her home, Chakotay suggested he make a start with dinner. She fell asleep on the couch to the sounds of Chakotay quietly working in the kitchen. When he woke her, the smell of fresh bread and stew hit her nose. He set their bowls down on the coffee table and she slid from the couch to the floor to join him.

She was diligently following the Doctor’s orders now, after he discovered her elevated hormone levels when he dropped by the day she and Chakotay necked like a pair of teenagers under her tree. She blushed furiously at the Doctor’s comments, then gave him a withering glare when he advised restraint from any ‘sexual activity of any nature’ until the drug was fully out of her system.

Kathryn was grateful her mother was not in the room during the Doctor’s examination. Chakotay had rubbed his face, equal parts embarrassed and bemused. He promised to follow the Doctor’s instructions.

Funny how they were very similar in that respect. Both had little disregard for their own wellbeing and yet would sing the opposite tune where the other was concerned.

She bit off a piece of bread and chewed, thinking about the man sitting next to her, working his way through his own meal. He had been so very attentive to her; he was the first face she saw when she woke up on the Colossus’ sickbay and the last she had been saying goodnight to since. He was a constant, steadying presence during her life on Voyager and she couldn’t imagine how she thought letting him walk away was the best for them both. She was reminded again of the bitterness her future self carried like a well worn armour.

She swallowed the bread and pushed her empty bowl away, offering the small portion of her remaining bread to Chakotay. He took it from her, dropping it into the last dregs of his stew. She watched as he finished the remainder of the stew along with the bread, pushing his bowl back as well. He leaned back, resting his head on the seat of the couch. She scooted closer, placing her head on his shoulder. He took her hand, covering it between both of his.

They sat quietly in the early evening. Kathryn could feel her energy levels gradually returning to normal as the days passed. She enjoyed spending the time alone with Chakotay, both going no further than the Doctor's instructions. Though she had grown impatient one night before she went to bed, declaring if she wasn’t cleared to be fit by the Doctor within a week she was going to decompile his programme and then jump Chakotay’s bones.

He was shocked speechless by her declaration, before bursting into laughter. He leaned down to kiss her and wished her goodnight. Her Chakotay, sensible as ever. 

It dawned on her that once the Doctor declared her back to normal, Chakotay probably assumed he would return to his apartment. She didn’t even think to ask him.

“Chakotay,” she said, lifting her head. He looked at her questioningly.

“Move in with me,” she continued, “I love you and there’s no reason for us not to keep living together,” she finished.

Chakotay’s eyes widened slightly. He went completely silent, staring at her. Kathryn, suddenly losing her nerve, began to pull away, babbling, “It’s really up to you, we don’t have to live here or even move in…”

He quickly hauled her into his lap in a bone-crushing embrace. He pulled back, placing his hands on the sides of her face and kissing her forehead, eyes, and nose before finally landing on her lips.

“I love you so much, Kathryn. I don’t care where I live as long as it’s with you,” he said.

She gazed at him, running her fingers across his tattoo. “We’ll make this place ours. Starting tonight, you’re coming to bed with me. Just to sleep! For now,” she added quickly.

Chakotay laughed, embracing her again.

That night, he shared her bed.

He transported the rest of his belongings the very next day.

***

Starfleet Medical’s building loomed large as Kathryn approached, enveloping her in it’s shadow. She had commed the Doctor earlier today, requesting permission to walk rather than transport directly to her appointment. Hopeful this was her last, and after an encouraging check-up several days before, the Doctor had relented.

Chakotay wanted to accompany her as he had done previously, but after Kathryn convinced him she was fine, he parted ways from her in the direction of the town centre whilst she continued towards Starfleet’s campus.

He had been busy since he moved in. A small shed had been put up at the bottom of the garden, and she suspected he was building something. He wouldn’t tell her what he was up to, but she knew he was transporting bits of wood from a workshop in town. She would sit on the patio steps with a book when the sun was out, listening to him work. She was glad the weather was cold enough that he wouldn’t take off his shirt as he sometimes did on New Earth. He had driven her to distraction then and she was quite sure it would be the same now.

The change in their relationship wasn’t as jarring as Kathryn thought it would be. It had been an easy slide from close friends to almost-lovers, and a part of her was already going to miss him when he returned to space. 

She reached the Doctor’s office, ringing the chime. The door hissed open immediately.

“Ah, Admiral. Please, have a seat,” the Doctor said, indicating the biobed. Kathryn obediently hopped up, watching as the Doctor opened the tricorder.

He ran the tricorder over her, asking, “How are you feeling, Admiral?”

“Fine. I feel fine, Doctor,” she said.

He studied the readings, “It looks like any remaining traces of the drug have cleared your system. I would say you’re fit to return to duty, or in this case, fit to return to your leave.”

The Doctor shut the tricorder. Admiral Janeway gave him a piercing stare, “And I may resume _ all _ normal activity?”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, “Indeed you may, Admiral.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” she said, sliding off the biobed and heading towards the door.

Just as the door opened, the Doctor called, “And see that you schedule another medical before you return to duty!”

She rolled her eyes, catching the beginnings of his grumbles about stubborn commanding officers just as the door slid shut behind her.

She couldn’t wait to get home.

***

Kathryn decided to transport to the station near home, walking the rest of the way. When she entered the house, the silence told her Chakotay was not yet back from his errands in town. She shrugged off her uniform jacket as she climbed the steps to their bedroom, loosening her hair from its twist.

Barefoot and dressed comfortably, she headed back downstairs to the kitchen, requesting a coffee from the replicator. She retrieved the coffee and sat on the couch. She surveyed the living space, seeing Chakotay’s touches blending with hers. Some of the items were from his quarters - the quilt thrown over the couch, a sand painting on the wall above the fireplace, his medicine bundle tucked into a shelf. Various items joined hers on the mantelpiece, creating an eclectic collection that was individually theirs yet worked well together. 

She didn’t know how long she had sat with her thoughts when she heard the front door code being punched in, Chakotay stepping through holding a package under one arm. He glanced around the living area and spotted her.

“Hello, Kathryn. How was your visit to the Doctor?” he asked as he turned to shut the door with his free hand, placing the package on a side table to shrug off his jacket.

Kathryn got up from the couch, putting her cup down on the coffee table. She reached Chakotay in several steps and he bends down to kiss her.

She placed both hands on his chest, pressing the rest of her body into his. Chakotay’s hands automatically rested on her hips.

“I’ve been cleared for duty. Among other… activities,” she said, pushing him against the door. Her hands travelled from his chest to wind around his neck, rising on her toes to kiss him. He tightened his hold on her as his tongue coaxed her mouth open.

Chakotay began to walk her backwards, toeing off his shoes at the same time. The backs of her heels hit the base of the staircase, and she lifted a foot in an attempt to gain a hold on the first step. She lost her balance and clung harder to Chakotay.

Feeling her scrabbling, he bent to hoist her into his arms, guiding her legs around his waist. He pulled his mouth away from her lips to peer around her to climb the stairs. She latched her mouth on his neck, sucking and kissing her way toward his earlobe.

She nibbled on his earlobe. He groaned, stopping part way on the stairs, “Spirits, Kathryn, if you don’t stop we might just end up back where we started, except I don’t think we’ll be in a state to, to…”

“Have sex?” she asked, pulling back to look at him, one eyebrow raised, grinning impishly.

Chakotay chuckled, “You never cease to surprise me, Kathryn. I should know by know that once you set your mind on things it’s warp speed ahead.”

He reached the top of the stairs, using her back to push their bedroom door open. He strode towards the bed, putting her down at the edge. Without missing a beat, Kathryn starts to undo the buttons on his shirt, hastily shoving the garment off his shoulders as if it offended her.

He grabbed her hands, placing them between his, “Slow down, Kathryn, we have time.”

She yanked her hands from his, reaching for the front of his pants, “I’ve waited long enough, Chakotay. Seven years is a long time to go without scratching an itch.”

He bursts into laughter, finally joining in her haste by lifting her dress over her head. She stopped unzipping his pants long enough for him to pull it over her head. He raked his eyes hungrily over her, and she can feel a flush starting to form on her cheeks and trail down her neck and chest. He takes her hands again, guiding it back towards his open pants. She shoves it down unceremoniously along with his boxers, and he quickly reaches down to pull his socks off.

Kathryn stared at him. He still had a boxer’s build, but age and time had blurred the edges of youth. She lifted a hand to brush his cheek, fingers trailing down his shoulder, chest and stomach, before finally reaching his erection, standing amongst the dark curls. She ran a finger along his cock, and he gasped in response. She takes it fully in her hand, feeling its ridges and its weight. He moans, reaching for her underwear.

She helps him remove her panties and reached behind her back to unclasp her bra. This time it was his turn to explore, and he repeated the journey she took, gently caressing her cheek, pausing to circle a finger around her nipple and finally brushing at her mons. She felt a rush of heat pool at her centre, her body already aching to feel him inside her.

Chakotay motioned for her to sit on the bed, and he sinks down to his knees. She’s a fraction taller than him like this, and she places her hands on his shoulders, leaning forward to kiss him. His hands automatically cup her face, fingers raking through her hair. 

His hands begin to wander from her hair to the rest of her body. She ached to touch the rest of him, but she settled for winding her hands around his neck. His hands find her breasts again, teasing her nipples into hardened peaks. Learning from before, he refrains from brushing against her ticklish ribcage, instead he covers them with his hands before moving to her hips. She bucks slightly, and he whispers, “Patience, Kathryn.”

He released her hips, gripping the edge of the bed with one hand.

“Scoot up,” he said. She raised a leg to help push her further into the bed, and he stares with unbridled desire at her open thighs. 

Chakotay climbed up, crawling towards her until one knee settles between her legs, the rest of him looming over her. Kathryn pushes herself up on her elbows to claim his mouth again, and he slid an arm around her back to anchor her body to his. She moaned into his mouth as her nipples brushed his chest with every breath.

He kisses down her body, sucking at her neck. She’s quite sure he’s leaving a mark but she doesn’t care. His mouth finally closes over a nipple and she moans out his name, a hand making sure the other breast wasn’t left neglected. He laves his tongue over her hardened peak, before releasing it with a wet pop and turning his attention to the other. Kathryn scratched her nails over his shoulder, writhing and making unintelligible sounds.

She was so focused on his mouth against her breast that she didn’t notice a hand wandering south, and she lets out a surprised whimper when his fingers part her folds. She feels him chuckle softly, and then his mouth follows the path of his hand.

His other hand continued to stroke her, a finger pressing against her opening. She bucks her hips, but he pulls his finger away. With his free hand he held her hips in place as his mouth finally reaches her curls. He pauses, staring, and then his mouth descended on her parted folds, tongue seeking out her clit.

Kathryn squealed when his tongue landed on her clit, stroking and flicking. Her hands scrabble for purchase on the sheets as he sought to bring her to orgasm, his tongue and teeth alternately stroking and grazing her clit, while he inserts a finger, then two, inside her. He keeps up the rhythm, pumping his fingers in and out in time with her clenching insides, his mouth still latched on to her clit. His free hand travels to her calf, guiding one leg over his shoulder.

She can feel her heart racing along with her impending orgasm. Chakotay sped up his movements, taking cues from the crescendo of her moans. She clamps her eyes shut, arches her back, hips bucking sharply against his hand, and cried out his name when the peak hits her. She sees stars behind her closed lids as her body fell back onto the bed, riding out the shuddering waves of her orgasm.

He slowed his movements, mumbling soothingly against her pelvis. She feels him crawl back up to her, and when she opens her eyes she’s met with a very self-satisfied expression on his face, his mouth glistening in her juices.

She grabs his head with both hands, pulling him down for a searing kiss. She tastes herself on him, a heady mixture that further fuels her desire for him.

She continues to kiss him, slowly and languidly, lulling him into a false sense of security. With one hand on his shoulder she expertly flips him on his back. Catching the look of surprise and mirth in his eyes, she pushed herself up on one hand.

She grins lasciviously, “My turn.”

Using her mouth and hands, she trails kisses and licks from his neck downwards, memorising every contour, every muscle, and every sound of pleasure that he made as she explored. She delighted that his nipples were just as sensitive as hers, and watched with wonder at the quiver of his stomach as she scratched her nails over.

Kathryn straddled his knees, staring at his straining cock. She looked back up at him, licking her lips, before sinking down to take him in her mouth.

Chakotay moaned her name as her tongue works over the head of his cock, her small hand wrapped around the base. She tastes the pre-come and uses her tongue to spread it, sucking hard. Her other hand sneaks over his sac, palming them as a finger presses under the sensitive flesh there. He thrusts his hips against her, and she takes him deeper into her mouth.

“Kathryn…” he moans, grabbing her wrist. 

She stops, releasing his cock from her mouth.

“I’m not going to last if you keep doing that,” he grinds out. She understood, crawling up to settle herself between his hips. 

She rubs her wet folds against his cock, before positioning herself on top over him. Silently seeking permission, she slowly sinks down on him with a sigh. They both stilled, taking in the moment. Kathryn lifted her left hand, and he meets it with his right, twining their fingers, reminiscent of a gesture shared long ago.

Kathryn begins to rock against him, using her knees as leverage to ride him. He thrusts in contratempto to her rocking, the wet sounds drowned out by their collective pants and moans.

Chakotay surged up to kiss her, changing the angle of their joining. He released her hand to secure his arm around her, the other seeking her clit again. She moans his name against his mouth when he strokes her, and he pushes her backwards.

She lifts one leg to lock around his hips, her other leg bent and foot flat on the bed for leverage as they continued to grind against each other. At this angle, she feels his cock hitting her erogenous zone. He continued to stroke her clit, and she can feel another orgasm building hot and fast.

Chakotay starts to move faster against her, his cock pumping in and out of her rapidly. She responds to his increasing speed, keeping her eyes locked on his.

Kathryn arches her back again, keening loudly as her inner muscles clench his cock, her eyes closing as the waves of a second orgasm crash into her. In a few short strokes, she feels him coming inside her in hot spurts, and he calls out her name like a prayer.

He collapses on her, a welcome weight on Kathryn. He tried to shift to the side, but the leg around him holds tight. His hot breath fans against her neck. His eyes were still closed, his breath rapid, and she could still hear the shared thunder of their beating hearts. 

She lifts a trembling hand to stroke his cheek, and he opens his eyes. Their lips meet in the gentlest of kisses, calming each other as they ride their post-coital high.

His softened cock slips out, and he rolls off the bed. He slides his arms under Kathryn’s limp torso and carries her to the bathroom. He helps her stand, supporting her weight, and requested for a sonic shower. The pulsing vibrations removed the sweat and fluids from their bodies quickly. He carries her back to their bed and lifts the covers aside, laying her down before sliding in next to her.

Chakotay pulls her into his arms, and she tilts her head up to kiss him. 

“How’s that itch now?” he asks, eyes twinkling.

“Consider it scratched. For now,” she yawned, snuggling further into his chest.

***

Chakotay woke up alone. The fading light of dusk streamed through the chink between the heavy curtains. He could hear Kathryn moving about downstairs. He pushes himself up and swings around to the side of the bed. Their clothes lay draped across the dresser’s chair.

He stood up, crossing to the dresser, picking up his pants. Not finding his shirt amongst the pile, he picks out another from the closet, buttoning it up as he went downstairs.

He finds Kathryn at the replicator, wearing his missing shirt. It was hanging off her slight frame, the hem falling to just above her knees, and the long sleeves rolled up to her elbows.

The sight of her padding around in his clothes nearly made him want to push her against the wall and make love to her again. He rounded the kitchen counter and placed a hand on her hip. He kissed her neck, the hand on her hip sliding to wrap around her waist.

Kathryn leaned back against him, turning for a kiss, “I was just making us dinner.”

“Mmm, I like what I see right here,” he murmured against her lips. Her stomach growled in response.

Chakotay chuckled, releasing her to finish programming their dinner. He gathered cutlery and set two places on the kitchen counter. Kathryn set down their meals, a vegetarian moussaka for him and roast beef with a heaping side of potatoes and vegetables.

He eyes the pile of potatoes and vegetables, “You must be starving, Kathryn.”

She perched on the barstool next to him, picking up her fork and spearing a bite of moussaka off Chakotay’s plate.

He shook his head in amusement.

***

When Kathryn drifted towards consciousness, she became aware of two things – the ache from long-unused muscles, and the sound of gentle snoring from a very naked heat source surrounding her.

She tried not to groan as she shifted, gingerly stretching her legs. The shift caused Chakotay to move, burying his face between the crook of her neck and shoulder. His arm around her middle tightened possessively, and despite all her aches and pains, she felt deliciously sated and happy.

Last night, Chakotay had cleared their empty dishes before rounding back to where she was seated. On the barstool, she sat nearly as tall as he was. He rubbed the tops of her thighs, slipping his thumbs under the hem of his shirt.

_ “Do you know what you do to me in this, Kathryn?” he growled, bunching the hem. _

_ Kathryn smirked, “I do now.” _

_ She pushed him away, sliding off the barstool. Reaching for the hem, she whipped the shirt over her head and tossed it aside. She had nothing else on underneath and Chakotay growled again. He hauled her against the counter. _

_ “Round two?” he asked. _

_ She tugged at his shirt. _

Reluctantly, Kathryn gently extricated herself from the possessive arm, her aching muscles complaining when she slid out of bed. Legs wobbling, she headed for the bathroom.

Minutes later, she emerged to the sight of her now-awake lover. He raked his sleepy eyes over her still unclothed form. His soft smile widened when he observed her still wobbly legs carrying her back to bed.

He lifted the covers so she could slide in next to him. She immediately pressed her lips and the rest of her body against his, their mouths and hands taking a slow and languid, but already familiar exploration.

When they both drew back for breath, Kathryn caught the smug grin etched on his face.

“What are you so happy about?” she asked.

He reached up to trace the outline of her mouth, “Besides this, us, and how incredible last night was? Knowing the reason for those jelly legs I saw just now.”

She pushed him away, pulling the covers over her chest and pouting slightly, “You’re insufferable.”

Chakotay’s smile only widened, “And you, love of my life, are insatiable.”

He made an attempt to grab at her and she squealed, scurrying away. She reached the edge of the bed when he got hold of her waist and pulled her back. They wrestled for a few moments before a pinned-down Kathryn finally held her hands up in surrender.

Chakotay kissed her nose, moving off to fall beside her. She snuggled into his side.

“Speaking of insatiable, I could do with some coffee. And breakfast,” Kathryn said.

Chakotay turned to look at her, “In bed?”

She pretended to ponder for a moment, “Mm, yes. I’ve always dreamed of being fed breakfast in bed by a very attractive man,” she paused dramatically, “But since there isn’t one around, I suppose you’ll have to do.”

Chakotay clutched his chest, pretending to look wounded, “Ouch.”

Kathryn watched him swing himself into a sitting position, groaning. He plucked his pants off the floor and pulled them on. When he himself stood uncertainly, Kathryn grinned triumphantly. She’d had the same effect on him.

She got up to put on her pink silk nightgown and climbed back into bed to wait for him. She didn’t have to wait long, the smell of coffee and toast floating through the open bedroom door.

A few minutes later she heard Chakotay’s climbing the stairs and he entered the bedroom holding a large wooden tray. Propping herself up on the pillows, she sat up and crossed her legs as he placed the laden tray between them. There were two cups of steaming coffee, along with a large plate of mushroom bruschetta.

Kathryn draped a napkin over her lap, Chakotay picking up the fork and knife to cut into the bruschetta. He carefully guided the fork to her open mouth.

Watching him cut a portion for himself, she was struck with the realization that they almost never got to this point. Without the Admiral, she suspected they would have gone their separate ways, the stresses of their journey and his eventual marriage to someone else the final nail in the coffin to their already difficult relationship.

She absent-mindedly accepted another forkful of food, washing it down with sips of coffee. She marveled at how completely their lives were interwoven the day she saw him on Voyager’s viewscreen seven years ago. She meant what she said, that she couldn’t imagine a day without him, and yet she had come so close to having to.

She teared up at the mere thought, and she swiftly felt Chakotay’s hand on hers, concern in his eyes

“I love you,” she blurted out.

Chakotay smiled back softly, “I love you too, very much.”

Kathryn clutched at the hand covering hers, “I feel like I haven’t said it enough times, and I came so close to not being able to tell you again.”

He put down the fork to take both her hands in his, “Kathryn, you’ve told me, hell, you’ve shown me, how you feel since we really talked. I have no reason to doubt that the tenacious, brave and absolutely infuriating Kathryn Janeway loves me as much as I love her.”

She let out a watery laugh. Trust Chakotay to once again lighten her burden and help her see the brighter side of her maudlin meanderings.

She punched his arm playfully for good measure.


	9. January

Kathryn sat on the edge of the armchair, leaned over the blanket she was making for Miral, concentrating intently on making sure the stitches were aligned with the ones beside it. Through the slightly open sliding doors behind her, she could hear Chakotay working away in the shed.

They had both settled into a domesticity she now knew she would miss intensely when he returned to space. With the Cardassian missile incident now firmly behind them, they had a welcome stream of visitors to their home, their crew shyly offering their delighted congratulations.

With the exception of B’Elanna, she mused. She, Tom and Miral were the first visitors they welcomed together for lunch. At the sight of their clasped hands, B’Elanna shoved Miral into Tom’s arms and promptly punched Chakotay hard in the shoulder before nearly toppling him in a hug. He’d chuckled good naturedly, and when they released each other she turned to grasp Kathryn’s hands in delight.

Harry, the Doctor and Seven were the next to visit. Kathryn was grateful to the reformed Borg’s part in hers and B’Elanna’s rescue. She had been less than herself when Seven visited her in Indiana all those months ago, and she was determined to make it up to the former Borg.

Kathryn’s thoughts were interrupted by a thump on the patio deck, then the sound of the sliding door opening. She heard Chakotay’s footsteps but before she could turn around a hand covered her eyes.

“Chakotay!” she exclaimed.

“Shh, I have a surprise for you,” he said, taking the needle from between her fingers and carefully sliding Miral’s blanket from her lap.

Kathryn felt a blanket placed over her shoulders as she was guided to stand up. She was led through the house, eyes still covered, until the tell-tale blast of chilly air told her they were headed towards the patio.

“Watch your step,” he said.

She stepped outside without incident, and Chakotay stopped her. He drew his hand away from her eyes.

“Oh!” she breathed.

Kathryn reached out to touch the dark wood of the bench.

“It’s beautiful, Chakotay,” she said, turning to kiss his cheek. His arm snaked around her waist.

“I noticed how much you liked to sit on the steps when it’s sunny out, so I thought you might be more comfortable with this,” he said. 

Kathryn stepped forward to sit down on the bench. Chakotay joined her.

She placed a palm against the seat, marvelling at the grooves of the stained wood against her fingers. 

He smiled at her, “I was thinking I could install some kind of heating element up there,” he pointed towards the patio ceiling, “That way you could sit even when it’s cold out.”

She met his eyes, “I love it, and it will remind me of you when you’re away.”

“That was the point,” he replied, bending to kiss her.

***

Chakotay walked out of the home office he shared with Kathryn. Through the glass doors he saw she was seated on the bench, now decked out with cushions and a blanket, the heat source above keeping the chill at bay.

He slid the door open and stepped out. Kathryn looked up from her sewing.

“That was Sveta on the comm,” he said.

“How is she? We should have her over when she’s next on Earth,” Kathryn said.

She quickly sensed his mood and patted the empty space next to her, concern in her eyes. He took several steps and sat down. She placed her sewing off to the side and took his hands between her own, resting them on her lap.

Chakotay sighed, “There’s something I’ve been meaning to do for a while. Talking to Sveta reminded me.”

Kathryn squeezed his hands, “What is it?”

“Tevlik.”

“Oh.”

They sat in silence. Chakotay had thought of stopping at Tevlik en route to visiting his sister when they first got home, but he couldn’t muster the courage to face it alone. When he received Sveta’s letter in the Delta Quadrant, Kathryn comforted him over the loss of the Maquis. He was initially so wrapped up in his grief and informing the Maquis onboard that he completely forgot to ask after her own letter until the Hirogen array was destroyed.

He could think of no one else who would willingly accompany him on this trip, nor one whose support he could rely on.

“Will you come with me?” he asked.

She hugged him, “Of course.”

***

They borrowed a small shuttle for their journey. The space was cramped, with only two narrow single bunks as their sleeping quarters. Chakotay could barely turn around in the little sonic shower, and he heard Kathryn swear at least once when she knocked a stray limb against the shower walls.

The journey took several days, Chakotay growing quieter as they approached the small moon. Wisely, Kathryn had packed his medicine bundle, and she pressed it into his hands the moment she sensed the heaviness overcome him. She left him alone, content to park herself in the shuttle forward with a cup of coffee and Miral’s still-unfinished blanket.

When they landed, they could only make out a small monument not far from the shuttle, the moon stripped of all signs of its previous inhabitants and activities.

Kathryn silently took his hand when they walked towards the memorial, the warmth from their entwined fingers bolstering his strength to face his demons in front of them.

They reached the memorial, and he felt Kathryn squeeze his hand tighter as they read the names of the fallen. He’d explained to Kathryn that Sveta and several of the surviving Maquis had erected the memorial shortly after their release from prison.

“This is all that’s left of what was. There used to be so many people here, and buildings. It was a busy place,” Chakotay said softly.

“I’m so sorry,” Kathryn said.

“The Maquis who ended up in prison and on Voyager, we’re all that’s left.”

He felt Kathryn shudder at his words. “Do you regret not being here?”

It was a thought he avoided on Voyager, but not one that was far away. He spoke carefully, “Whether it was fate, or luck, that guided us into the Delta Quadrant, we’ll never really know. Those were the cards we were dealt with, and we’ll have to find our way to be at peace with it somehow, even in the face of monumental loss.”

Chakotay leaned into Kathryn, and he felt her release his hand to slip her arm around his waist. He closed his eyes in silent prayer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tevlik scene inspired by Homecoming novel.


	10. February

“Where do you think you’re going?” Kathryn murmured as Miral crawled away from the toy-strewn living room.

She quickly got to her feet and grabbed the infant, who had just reached the base of the kitchen counter. Taking the few steps back to the living area, she placed Miral on the floor and handed her a flashing toy. She stared at it, before pressing the various buttons to emit a cacophony of sounds.

Kathryn settled herself next to Miral, picking up her book.

She glanced at the chronometer, mindful of Miral’s feeding and nap times. Chakotay, Tom and B’Elanna would be back late tomorrow evening, long after Miral’s bedtime. A brief message from Tom indicated they were on track to return from Utopia Planitia as scheduled.

The three had begun to spend more time at Headquarters or Utopia Planitia, the recommissioning of Voyager creeping ever closer. Barclay had done an outstanding job leading the refit, and she looked forward to seeing it herself before Chakotay shipped out.

Kathryn herself was slowly reacquainting with Headquarters, and learning her new role. Owen had indicated it was a predominantly desk-bound role, with occasional diplomatic missions.

_ “After all these years in space, terra firma will seem like a luxury, Kathryn.” _

She didn’t respond to Owen’s comment, merely smiled at him briefly. He’d given her a sideways glance before changing the subject.

The truth was, she wasn’t so sure if she was ready to be desk-bound for the foreseeable future. Chakotay had joked that he would at least know exactly where she was, and she felt her heart constrict.

They were both wholeheartedly committed to Starfleet, but she’d given Starfleet many of her years to them, as her father had before her. She remembered hardly ever seeing him growing up, but when he was there, he showered all his attention on his wife and two children. When he was away, life went on, but it wasn’t the same. Her mother once mentioned if she herself wasn’t bound to the university, she would have followed Edward into space. 

She thought about Starfleet’s Admiralty, ticking off the names in her head. Hayes, Montgomery, Paris, Nechayev, Nimembeh, and others based on space stations, colonies or starships.

_ Starships?  _ She’d forgotten that conversation with B’Elanna, but she had to find out.

She looked at Miral, thoroughly engrossed in another toy. She stood, leaning over to pick Miral and the toy up. She walked into the home office. She sat at her desk and settled Miral on her lap. Opening her console, she tapped in several commands.

She scanned the list, stopping at particular sections to read, requesting additional information.

She leaned back to contemplate the information scrolling on the screen. Miral had now lost interest in her toy, her fingers reaching towards the console and the bright LCARS display. Kathryn absentmindedly picked up the discarded toy, waving it in front of Miral.

She would talk to Chakotay tomorrow.

***

Chakotay keyed in the entrance code to the front door, pushing it open. B’Elanna and Tom followed him inside.

Seeing the downstairs area empty, he heard Kathryn’s footsteps descending the stairs before he saw her. He turned, smiling.

“Hello,” she said softly when she reached the bottom of the stairs. 

“How did it go, Admiral?” B’Elanna asked.

“She was just wonderful, B’Elanna. I put her to bed an hour ago,” Kathryn replied.

Tom nodded, moving past to go upstairs. The remaining three chatted quietly until he returned with a sleeping Miral in his arms. He glanced over to the living area, where a toy box had been neatly packed away.

“We’ll come for that tomorrow if that’s okay?” Tom whispered.

“Of course,” Chakotay said.

“Thanks again, Admiral,” he said.

As soon as Chakotay shut the door he turned to gather Kathryn into his arms. He kissed her neck, breathing in her scent, and she gasped when he nipped lightly.

“I’ve missed you,” he mumbled, trailing his mouth to her jawline and finally reaching her lips. Kathryn responded enthusiastically, winding her arms around his neck and pressing her body into him.

He was about to lead her upstairs when she released his mouth. 

“I’ve missed you too. But there’s something I want to talk with you about,” she said.

Chakotay raised an eyebrow, letting her guide him to the couch. He sat down first, and she curled her legs under her before settling as close to him as possible.

She said, “You know how thrilled I am that you’re captaining Voyager.”

“I do,” he replied, already wondering where the discussion was going. He let Kathryn plough on.

“What I’m not thrilled about is us being apart for months, maybe even years at a time.”

“I can’t promise we won’t get a long assignment, Kathryn, but there’s always subspace comms. We both chose this life, chose to serve Starfleet. We knew what the stakes were,” he said. He was going to miss her just as much.

Kathryn dropped her head, “I know. Chakotay, I gave more than half my life to Starfleet. I don’t regret it, but being with you is important to me too. I kept you at arms length for seven years because of Starfleet, and I won’t let that happen again unless I can help it.”

Chakotay leaned forward, “What are you saying, Kathryn? You want to go back to space? You’ll need a flagship.”

She shook her head, “No, I won’t. I’m not resigning, either.”

“I would never let you give up your career for me, Kathryn. Starfleet is so much of who you are. I know you, and you wouldn’t have brought this up if you hadn’t already figured it out,” he said, smiling now.

She leaned over to pick up a padd off the coffee table, handing it to him. He quickly scrolled through it, finally looking at her.

Kathryn said, “You’re right, but I wanted to hear your thoughts. An Admiral on your ship. Not one in command of the ship, nor one in command of its Captain.”

He put the padd down between them, taking her hand, “Kathryn, I would love nothing more than to have you with me. I’m sure Tom can find you an office onboard, and quarters definitely won’t be a problem."

Chakotay watched as Kathryn’s face lit up into a brilliant smile. She leaned forward to kiss him, her hand sliding up to rest on his chest.

“Just so you know, you can take command of this Captain anytime, Admiral,” Chakotay said, waggling his eyebrows.

Kathryn palmed her face, groaning.

***

Kathryn walked dejectedly to the agreed meeting point with Chakotay, just outside Headquarters. The conversation earlier with the panel of Admirals raced through her mind.

_ “We’ve reviewed your request, Admiral, and I’m afraid it’s not one we can agree to,” Montgomery said. _

_ Kathryn surveyed the men before her, “Admiral Montgomery, gentlemen, with all due respect, you have several Admirals located elsewhere, most in locations of their choosing. I don’t see why my request is any different.” _

_ “Admiral Janeway, you are requesting to join a Federation starship, as a passenger. A recognised family member of the crew.” _

_ “To join my partner.” _

_ “Permission denied.” _

_ “Admirals?” _

_ “We are aware of your relationship with Captain Chakotay. It’s not viewed as sufficient grounds for approving your transfer to Voyager,” Hayes said. _

_ “Am I physically required at Headquarters? As far as I understand, as long as an Admiral is able to conduct their business, there is no reason for them to be located permanently at Headquarters,” Janeway said. _

_ Admiral Montgomery leaned forward, “Our decision has been made, Admiral. Your relationship is mere fraternization and this discussion is closed.” _

_ Owen Paris looked regretful, “I’m sorry, Kathryn.” _

_ “Dismissed,” Hayes said. _

Chakotay quickly surmised from the look on her face that the Admiralty had denied her request. He held out his arms, and she all but flew into them, burying her face in his jacket. She took in deep breaths, his scent serving to restore her equilibrium.

When she pulled back, he gently touched her cheek, acknowledging her eyes bright with unshed tears.

“They see our relationship as  _ mere fraternization _ ,” Kathryn said, an edge to the words used by Montgomery.

“There’s always subspace comms, and we’re not going to be on long-term missions too often,” Chakotay said.

“We spent seven years apart, I can’t let another seven go by. But I won’t let you give up captaining Voyager,” she said.

“And I meant what I said that I won’t let you give up your position for me, either.”

Kathryn’s shoulders slumped in defeat, “Subspace comms it is.”

“Maybe it’s not our time just yet,” he said, rubbing her back soothingly.

“For once, I wanted it to be,” she said sadly, already counting down the days to his leaving.


	11. March

Janeway approached Admiral Nechayev’s office, her clipped footsteps signalling her arrival to her aide, who looked up and acknowledged her presence, gesturing for her to sit on the numerous chairs just outside Nechayev’s door.

She was surprised to receive a message from Alynna Nechayev whilst she and Chakotay were exploring the beaches along the Gulf of Mexico. With the time they had left, Chakotay attempted to lift her spirits by suggesting they work through their list of places they wanted to revisit.

Janeway had only met Nechayev a few times before. The Admiral spent much of her time involved in the Federation’s dealings with the Romulans, so she hardly crossed paths with one of the few women in the Admiralty. 

Within minutes, the door to Nechayev’s office opened, the Admiral stepping out.

“Admiral Janeway, please come in. I’m sorry for keeping you waiting.”

Janeway stood up, “Not at all, Admiral.”

Kathryn quietly thanked Nechayev’s aide before stepping into the office, Nechayev shutting the door behind her.

“Would you like a coffee, Admiral?” Nechayev asked, gesturing to the replicator.

She shook her head, “No, thank you.” Nechayev nodded, sweeping a hand to indicate she sit on the couch. Kathryn seated herself on one end of the three-seater, expecting Nechayev to sit across from her, but was surprised when the older woman placed herself on the other end.

Nechayev smiled reassuringly, “You must be wondering why I requested a meeting with you.”

One side of Kathryn’s mouth quirked up, “I would be lying if I said I didn’t, Admiral.”

Admiral Nechayev leaned back, “I heard about the outcome of your request, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there when they delivered the decision.”

Kathryn kept her posture straight, hands in her lap, “It wasn’t unexpected, Admiral, and I understand the Admiralty’s view of my personal relationship.”

“It is merely a view, Admiral. A rather outdated one, in my opinion. Starfleet’s principal mission is to explore, and we haven’t done much of that for a while. I believe Voyager’s new mission is a first step towards getting back to who Starfleet really are,” Nechayev said.

“I agree, Admiral. But what does this have to do with the Admiralty’s decision?” Kathryn asked.

Nechayev leaned forward, “You and I both know Starfleet have always been reluctant to regulate people’s personal relationships, and while the Admiralty may present its own views on some of them, it simply is that. A view can be modified with a change to the existing status.”

The older Admiral picked up a padd from the coffee table in front of them, passing it to Janeway. She scrolled through, puzzling at the names on various Starfleet ships dotted across the Alpha and Beta quadrants.

“This is part of a list of senior personnel serving onboard our ships. What do you see?”

Kathryn looked up, “Their Starfleet spouses are on the same ship… spouses.”

Nechayev gave her a satisfactory smile, “The Admiralty can be an old cog in an ever-changing wheel, Admiral. While I cannot say a second request might be met with approval, I can say for certain it will not be dismissed so easily. Until such time we are able to catch up with the times, or half of the old bumbling fools retire.”

Admiral Nechayev stood up, indicating their meeting was over. Janeway pushed herself to stand, returning the padd to Nechayev.

“Thank you, Admiral, you’ve given me something to think about,” Kathryn said, moving towards the exit.

“You’re welcome, Kathryn. I look forward to hearing from you soon,” Alynna said.

***

Tom hammered in the last of the hinges and Chakotay swung the gate to test it.

“Seems to be working,” Tom said.

The two men regarded their handiwork. B’Elanna had been badgering Tom even more since Kathryn bought the house next door to replace the rotting wooden lattice wall between their back patios. Seeing how much the two women travelled between the front doors, Tom proposed the lattice be replaced with a tall wooden gate, allowing enough privacy for both the family and the couple.

Tom picked up his toolbox, gesturing towards his house, “Drink, Chakotay?”

Chakotay followed him into the house, nodding, “Whatever you’re having, Tom.”

“Two beers coming right up,” Tom said, calling them from the replicator.

Chakotay accepted his beer and the two made their way back out to the garden, sitting on the patio steps. 

“So,” Tom started, “I heard the Admiralty rejected Admiral Janeway’s request.”

The older man grunted, “You would think Starfleet were inflexible if we didn’t have whole families travelling together on Federation ships.”

Tom nodded sympathetically, “Starfleet’s a stuffy thing, Chakotay. I grew up surrounded by it and believe me, some of those old rules can be a real pain in the neck sometimes.”

Chakotay took a swig of beer, “We’ll work something out, subspace relationships aren’t uncommon.”

“Starfleet’s kept you apart once, Captain. Have you taken a closer look at this ‘mere fraternization’ view the Admiralty keep talking about?”

Chakotay wondered where the line of discussion was leading, “You know something, Paris?”

The younger man’s eyes twinkled, producing a padd Chakotay hadn’t noticed he brought out with him. Tom silently passed the padd.

Chakotay read as Tom drank his beer. He put down the padd to look at Tom.

Tom grinned, “There is one exception.”

***

Kathryn burst through the door of hers and Chakotay’s home, spotting him in the kitchen, leaning over the counter with a padd in hand. He looked up when he heard her.

“Hi. How was your meeting with Admiral Nechayev?” he asked, walking over to kiss her. 

She met him halfway, “It wasn’t quite what I was expecting.”

Chakotay cocked his head to the side, before taking her hand and leading her to the kitchen, “You’re going to tell me what happened?”

He requested a cup of tea from the replicator and handed it to Kathryn. She took a sip, her unoccupied hand already pulling out the pins holding her hair together.

“Seems as though Alynna was sympathetic to my request and wanted to talk.”

Chakotay raised an eyebrow.

She shook her hair out and continued, “Starfleet’s view on relationships isn’t as black and white as they’ve taught us in command school. They view our relationship as ‘mere fraternization’, unless we chose to make it formal.”

“That’s what Tom said today,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn looked puzzled, “Tom?”

Her partner chuckled, “Trust Commander Paris to have intimate knowledge of bending even Starfleet’s unofficial views. He’s definitely going to make a very fine first officer.”

Kathryn laughed now, “So, shall we take the advisement of your first officer and the good Admiral Nechayev?”

Chakotay laughed along with her, but then turned serious, “I love you, Kathryn, and I don’t need an official solemnization of our relationship to prove it. But I will if it means we could stay together. So, will you marry me?”

Tears pricked her eyes, “Yes. Will you marry me, Chakotay?”

He kissed Kathryn, “Yes.”

She pulled away, “Well, that settles it then. I’ll call Owen and we can do it today.”

“No.”

Kathryn’s eyes widened, “I’m sorry?”

He sighed, correctly predicting the turn of events, “Kathryn, maybe you should call your mother first.”

“Well, that’s what I was going to do. She can beam to San Francisco in no time and we can meet Owen at his office.”

He gestured towards their home office, following her in. Kathryn made her way to the computer, and keyed in her mother’s comm. Seconds later her mother’s face filled the screen.

“Hi mom. Can you beam out to San Francisco now?” Chakotay had followed and stood behind Kathryn.

Gretchen’s eyes narrowed, flicking between her daughter and Chakotay, “Kathryn, what’s going on?”

“Chakotay and I have agreed to get married. Today.”

Kathryn watched as her mother breathed deeply, closed her eyes, and snap, “Absolutely not, Kathryn! What about your sister? Her family?  _ Chakotay’s family _ ?” Gretchen’s voice rose further with each staccatoed question.

She continued, “Honestly Kathryn, did you not think  _ your family _ , not to mention  _ his _ family, would like to witness this? And Chakotay, how could you not think of  _ your sister _ ?”

Chakotay winced at Gretchen’s shrillness, “I did suggest she call you first.”

Kathryn whipped around to glare at Chakotay.  _ I’m going to pay for that _ , he thought.

“Well, you’re most certainly not getting married without either of your families. How soon can Sekaya and her family get here, Chakotay?”

He shrugged, “It’s about a week’s journey from Trebus, but they will need to settle a few things first.”

“Fine. How does two weeks sound? We can do this here, in the backyard.”

Kathryn looked up at Chakotay. He nodded.

“That’s fine, mom.”

“Good. I’m sure your crew would like to attend as well.”

“Thank you, Mrs Janeway,” Chakotay said, relieved. Now that he had time up his sleeve for his little project, but he’ll need to get to B’Elanna quickly.

Gretchen rolled her eyes as she ended the comm. Kathryn stood, facing her husband-to-be.

“You knew she’d do that,” she accused.

He tugged at his ear, “Kathryn, did you really want us to get married without everyone we cared about? Sekaya wouldn’t have minded, but I’ve met your mother and sister.”

She paused, “No. I just didn’t want to wait. I’m done with engagements. I  _ want _ to marry you, and not just because of a Starfleet loophole.”

Chakotay laughed, “Well I’m glad it’s not  _ just _ because of that.”

***

Chakotay walked towards Starfleet’s Engineering building. Just as he was about to enter, he heard running steps behind him, then, “Captain Chakotay!”

He turned to find Commander Paris jogging up to him, padd in hand, Commander Torres walking briskly not far behind.

“Tom,” he acknowledged.

The two men waited until B’Elanna caught up with them, before making their way inside the building.

Tom passed the padd to Chakotay, “I had a look at the designs you sent B’Elanna and made up a few draft schematics.”

Chakotay thumbed through the padd, “These look good, Tom.”

They entered an unoccupied room. Chakotay drew his old Maquis rank bar from his pocket and passed it to B’Elanna.

“It’s not enough for what you want, but I have an idea,” she said, tapping her combadge.

“Commander Torres to Engineering.”

“Engineering here, Commander. What can I do for you?” asked the disembodied voice.

“I believe you have an item from the  _ Voyager _ refit team?”

“Yes, ma’am. Shall I beam it to you?”

“Please. And thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Engineering out.”

The three heard the tingling sound of the transporter, the item in question materialising on the table next to them. B’Elanna picked it up.

“This is part of the tritanium bulkhead being replaced in the captain’s ready room. If we mix this,” she held up Chakotay’s rank bar, “with some of the tritanium, we should have enough.”

“Good work, B’Elanna. Thank you both,” Chakotay said.

“I can work out how much tritanium we need in a few minutes,” B’Elanna said.

“And I’ve got yours and the Admiral’s scans from Voyager's  medical database,” Tom said.

Chakotay smiled, “Alright then, shall we get started?”

***

Kathryn was seated on the bench, her legs pulled up and knees leaning to one side. She was so engrossed in her book she didn’t hear the sound of the front door opening and closing carry through the partly open sliding doors.

She only looked over her shoulder when she heard Chakotay’s approaching footsteps. He had been over at Starfleet Engineering for the last two days and before that had locked himself in their spare bedroom for a few hours. He knew how much she hated surprises, but no matter how often she doggedly questioned him about his activities, he refused to tell her anything.

When he came up, she saw he was holding a small box. He bent down to kiss her before sitting down. She unwound her legs so she could press her side to him, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Is that what you’ve been working on?” she asked, leaning over him. He held the box away from her.

“So impatient, Kathryn,” he teased, “I’m surprised you haven’t been following me.”

She huffed indignantly, “I would have if I wasn’t looking after Miral yesterday. Now I know B’Elanna and Tom are in on it.”

He smiled, then held out the box to her. She eagerly took it from him, opening it carefully.

Her breath hitched, “Oh, Chakotay.”

Kathryn pulled the smaller of the two rings out. The band was simple, plain on the outside, the dull metal softening the evening light bouncing off as she rolled it between her fingers.

“We made it out of some of the tritanium from the bulkheads they were replacing in your old ready room, and my Maquis rank bar,” he said.

Kathryn gazed up at him, this time shocked by the thoughtfulness Chakotay had put into their rings. She should have known, though, that he would put a lot of care into something like this. It was just who he is. She didn’t know what she did to deserve him sometimes, and there definitely were times in the Delta Quadrant she most definitely didn’t deserve him.

She shook her head to clear the last thought. Her eye caught on to the inside of the ring, engraved with his tattoo and a stardate.

“The day we met,” she whispered. Chakotay picked up the larger ring.

“Here’s mine,” he said, showing her the larger ring. Next to the stardate was her written signature. 

Kathryn let out a sound between a laugh and a sob, placing her ring back in the box, Chakotay following suit. She wrapped her arm around him, resting her head on his shoulder, and he dropped a kiss on her head.

***

The morning of their wedding, Kathryn woke to find Chakotay already awake, still tucked up next to her in her childhood bedroom. She tilted her head up to kiss him before settling back on his shoulder, dozing in and out of sleep.

Sometime later, they heard footsteps coming up the stairs, gradually becoming louder. Phoebe burst through the door, startling the couple.

Her sister had one hand over her eyes as she made her way towards the windows, “Rise and shine, it’s the big day! If you got up to any hanky panky last night please spare me and put something on!” 

Phoebe dramatically pulled the curtains open, sunlight drenching the room.

Kathryn groaned, “Phoebe, we’re dressed.” She pushed herself into a sitting position, as did Chakotay on the other side of the bed. He turned to exchange a bemused glance with her.

“Oh, good!” Phoebe dropped the hand covering her eyes to face the couple, “Right. Order of business. Chakotay, you’re banished to the Paris guestroom. This is now the bridal boudoir.”

Kathryn rolled her eyes. Chakotay stood and made his way around the bed. Phoebe picked up a garment bag by the dresser and tossed it at him, “Go on, out!”

He laughed, then looked at Kathryn next to him, eyes sparkling. She quickly kissed him, “You agreed to this.”

“That I did,” he replied, before making his way out of her bedroom.

B’Elanna poked her head into the bedroom with Miral in her arms, “Good morning. Tom just kicked us out.”

Kathryn laughed as B’Elanna, still in her dressing gown, came in and placed the baby in her arms. Miral immediately grabbed a lock of Kathryn’s hair, pulling hard. She yelped, slowly extricating Miral’s grip on her hair.

The women heard Gretchen’s voice in the corridor, “For goodness sake, Phoebe, we have all day, why are you herding everyone now? Sekaya and I have made breakfast, so all of you, downstairs, NOW.”

B’Elanna and Kathryn exchanged glances before bursting into laughter. Kathryn got up from the bed, carrying Miral, and followed B’Elanna downstairs.

***

The Indiana spring evening temperature dropped considerably, but not unexpectedly for this time of year. The backyard of Gretchen’s home now housed a large, environmentally controlled marquee for the ceremony and festivities. Rows upon rows of seats were set up between the aisle, which started several feet from the back door up to the dais overlooking Indiana’s lush meadows.

There wasn’t enough seating, so many of Voyager’s crew chose to stand. Chakotay walked around, greeting as many people as he could while they took their seats, when he spotted Imani, Phoebe’s wife, making her way around the side towards the dais, violin and bow in one hand and several sheets of paper in the other. He excused himself from Harry and approached her.

Imani was adjusting her music stand when Chakotay stepped up. She placed the sheets on top of the stand before turning to him, “They’re just about ready.”

Chakotay nodded. Looking to his left, he caught the attention of Owen Paris, seated at the front row, who acknowledged his nod and rose to take his place. Sekaya and Tom, who were standing up for him, were already approaching him when he next looked around. Sekaya gently squeezed his arm when she reached him.

Tom, standing next to Sekaya, patted Chakotay’s back. The front row seats began to fill, first with Gretchen, her grandsons, then Takoda, Sekaya’s husband and their son and daughter. Chakotay noticed Tom giving the Doctor, sitting next to his niece, a small soft toy.

From where he stood, Chakotay saw Phoebe at the top of the aisle signal towards them. Imani picked up her bow and violin just as Owen cleared his throat.

“Welcome everyone. Please have a seat, if you are lucky to have one. We’re about to begin,” Owen said, before turning to Imani.

The strains of Bach’s Air On A G-String filled the air. Phoebe began walking down the aisle, a light blue dress complementing her dark curls.

Just as Phoebe took her place at the dais, B’Elanna followed, wearing a dark blue dress. Before she stepped up to the dais, she turned back, where Miral, in a deep emerald dress, had been placed on the grass. B’Elanna attempted to get her daughter’s attention, but the combination of music and people distracted Miral, who was peering curiously at everything around her.

Kathryn, standing just off to the side, was about to pick Miral up and walk them both down when she saw Tom step out from his spot, waving her targ soft toy. He quickly managed to get her attention and with lightning speed, Miral began to crawl in earnest towards her father, to the laughter of the guests. When she reached him, he swiftly picked her up and plucked the little bag attached to her dress, before handing her off to the Doctor.

As Kathryn walked down the aisle, Chakotay took his time to take her appearance in. He was taken by the simple cream silk dress she was wearing. The boat neck and flutter sleeves accented her long neck, fitted waistline adorned by a delicate lace pattern, and the flowing skirt brushing her calves.

Her long hair was styled in a half updo, the way he always loved when they used to spend their downtime together early in their Delta Quadrant journey. She turned to smile at someone in the audience, and he saw she had placed a peace rose in her hair.

He felt all the breath knocked out of him when Kathryn focused her attention back on him as she approached. Nearly eight years now and she still had that effect on him.

She reached the dais, and he held out his hands so she could take them. They were so caught up in each other they nearly missed Admiral Paris’ opening.

“Welcome, all. One of the most pleasant duties of a senior officer is the privilege of joining two people in matrimony. Today I have the honour of of uniting Admiral Kathryn Janeway and Captain Chakotay in marriage. Which, I have been told, is about damn time.”

Everyone laughed.

“Before I declare them married, Kathryn and Chakotay have prepared their own vows. Chakotay?”

“Kathryn, knowing you has changed my life. Your compassion, generosity, brilliance and curiosity are just some of the things that I love so much about you. You are the science to my faith, the other spirit mine yearned and searched for. You bring me peace, and I would willingly spend the rest of my life and beyond, if you’ll have me, forever.”

She squeezed his hands, eyes shining.

“Kathryn?”

Kathryn mustered up all the love she had for the man before her, “I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know who you were. You are my trusted advisor, confidante, best friend and soulmate. Every strayed path led back to you, and always you. I want to be by your side, if you’ll have me, forever.” 

“The rings, please?” Owen asked. Tom stepped forward, placing Miral’s delivered cargo in his hand. He passed the smaller ring to Chakotay, who reverently placed it around Kathryn’s finger, and she did the same for him with the larger one.

They held their gaze as Owen spoke again, “By the power vested in me by the United Federation of Planets, I now pronounce you married.”

Kathryn let out a breath of relief. Chakotay smiled.  _ See, I told you it would be fine,  _ his eyes told her.

Owen rolled his eyes, “Well, go on then!”

To the applause and cheers of their friends and family, Kathryn and Chakotay leaned forward to share a gentle kiss.

***

The seats were swiftly rearranged around the marquee along with the appearance of several tables, allowing for a large space in the middle for guests to mingle. In one corner a buffet spread and bar were set up, and Tom Paris wasted no time in announcing the lack of synthehol present.

Midway through the reception, Phoebe and Sekaya cleared a space, clinking their glasses and bellowing (in Phoebe’s case) for everyone’s attention. The two sisters-in-law had obviously had enough to drink that they decided to pair up for an impromptu speech, both launching directly into innuendo about their respective siblings. Just before their speech descended into raunchier territory, Imani and Takoda quickly pulled their drunken spouses back into the crowd.

Once the sisters were hauled away, Tom Paris took his turn, “So now that we have everyone’s attention…” the crowd laughed as Tom held up a padd, “What I have here is a little game some of us used to play on Voyager.”

“The betting pool, Tom? Are you serious?” Mike Ayala shouted.

“If Chakotay demotes you, can I be first officer?” B’Elanna called out. Tom had the decency to look chagrined at his wife’s comment.

“We’re not exactly on replicator rations anymore,” Harry yelled.

Tom grinned, holding up a bottle in his other hand, “We most certainly are not, Harry. However, I have managed to procure a very fine bottle of Chateau Picard. 2365 was a very good year, I believe.” 

“Get on with it, Tom,” Kathryn called out. Chakotay looked at her, and she smiled back at him.

“Let them have their fun,” she whispered.

“As most of you here know,” Tom continued, “We had several, uh, wagers placed on our commanding officers during our time on Voyager. Respectfully, I have retired the pool speculating when the good Admiral and Captain uh, sealed the deal.”

“I bet I know that one!” Phoebe slurred, to raucous laughter and wolf whistles.

“Phoebe, no,” Gretchen replied. 

“I’m not going through the rest of this list either. Seriously, some of you ought to have your minds scrubbed cleaner than a plasma manifold,” Tom said, eliciting catcalls from the crowd.

He waved for silence, “We did have one pool predicting the date of Admiral Janeway and Captain Chakotay’s wedding.”

“Anyone would think we weren’t fighting for survival in the Delta Quadrant given how much went on in the betting pools,” Chakotay muttered.

Kathryn patted his arm, grinning, “It was a good distraction for them, though.”

“The final bet on was placed by Susan two years ago,” Tom said.

“Whoop!”

“Sorry, Nicoletti, yours was dead wrong.”

“Aw!”

“Anyway, where was I. Right. Ensign, I mean, Lieutenant Fukai? Where are you?”

Several raised voices came from one side of the crowd as Arlene Fukai emerged. Someone plucked her wineglass from her hand. Tom gestured for her to come forward and stand next to him. She turned to face the crowd, cheeks slightly red.

Tom placed an arm around Arlene, “Our Arlene placed her bet on Stardate 50518.6. She passed the Captain, who by the way, was holding a very lovely rose, and the Commander on their way to the holodeck. Looked very chummy from what I heard. Arlene bet on a wedding within ten months of getting home. Congratulations, Arlene!”

Lieutenant Fukai looked partly mortified as Tom presented her with the bottle, to the loud applause and laughter from the audience, especially the crew. Kathryn good-naturedly dragged Chakotay with her to give the embarrassed woman a hug.

When the hubbub of Tom’s antics faded, the music playing softly in the background swelled, and the space that Tom vacated filled with dancing couples and groups. Chakotay wasted no time in asking his wife for a dance.

Kathryn placed a hand on his shoulder. He covered her hand with his and guided her other hand around his waist, then snaked his arm around her. She pressed her cheek against his heart.

“Today was perfect,” she sighed happily.

“Are you glad now we did it this way?” Chakotay asked.

“Hmm, yes,” she conceded, “Having everyone here was worth the wait.”

“You were worth the wait, my love,” he said.

His wife lifted her head from his chest, “It was certainly a long journey, but I don’t regret it now. We got there in the end.”

“So you didn’t mind being engaged again?” he teased.

Her laugh reverberated against him, “I was convinced until Owen said we were married we’d be interrupted by a red alert.”

Kathryn stepped up on her toes to kiss her husband before settling her head back on his chest.

The couple danced for some time, until Chakotay felt a tap on his shoulder. He released his wife and turned, coming to face with Tuvok.

“Captain, may I cut in?”

Chakotay smiled, patting Tuvok’s arm, “You may, Commander,” he said, handing Kathryn to her old friend.

He watched as Kathryn and Tuvok glided away, passing B’Elanna and Tom, the latter appearing to lead his wife in a drunken waltz. The half-Klingon spotted him and mouthed, “Help.”

Chuckling, he stepped forward to rescue his friend.

***

Many dances later with family, friends and countless members of her crew, Kathryn walked towards the table B’Elanna was seated, plate piled high with food, her shoes haphazardly at her bare feet. When she plonked herself down on a chair, B’Elanna offered the plate, and Kathryn gratefully accepted a slice of her mother’s caramel brownie.

B’Elanna grinned, “I hope that’s not the first thing you’ve had since lunch.”

“Not at all, I’ve managed to have quite a bit to eat, actually,” Kathryn replied, “Besides, I’m quite certain Chakotay would have noticed if I hadn’t.”

Kathryn bit into the brownie, leaning back into the seat. She stretched her legs and flexed her feet. It was late in the evening now, and the crowd had thinned considerably. Her mother had excused herself early, offering to put Miral to bed. Sekaya, Phoebe and their families had also left for the night. 

The few groups still present were made up of Voyager’s crew, drinking and making merriment. She smiled, chewing the brownie. Voyager’s first year anniversary wasn’t too far away, but she was glad this occasion allowed them all the opportunity to reunite again.

“It looks like Tom and Harry could still hold the floor for a while yet,” B’Elanna said, just as drunken laughter erupted from Tom’s group, which included Chakotay.

Kathryn swallowed the last brownie morsel, licking her fingers, “Perhaps we can take leave of some of  _ our _ remaining crewmates for the night.”

She stood up, holding her hand out. B’Elanna bent to pick up her shoes before accepting Kathryn’s proffered hand. Kathryn slipped her hand around the crook of the younger woman’s arm.

B’Elanna raised her eyebrows, not missing the emphasis in Kathryn’s voice, “Do you think it’ll work?”

She smiled, “Have I ever backed down from a challenge, Commander?”

The two women laughed as they made their way towards the house.

***

Kathryn slowly awakened from a deep slumber, blinking sleep away. She paused, taking inventory. Thankfully she didn’t appear to have a hangover from last night, probably helped by her husband plying her with food at every opportunity.

Her husband. She smiled contentedly, feeling the warmth of him against her back and on the hand pressed against her stomach.

She turned to face him, snuggling into his chest. It was still morning, but they were not due to beam out for their honeymoon until mid afternoon, just in time for dinner in Spain.

Kathryn breathed in his scent as he stirred. When he slowly rubbed her back she knew he was awake.

“Hi,” she said, looking up at him.

“Mmm, hi,” Chakotay replied, kissing her.

“What time did you get in last night?”

“A little while after you. Harry corralled the rest back to the hotels in town, I’m surprised you didn’t hear all the noise Tom made when I helped him up the stairs.”

“I must have been more tired than I thought,” Kathryn admitted.

“It was a very long day,” he agreed.

From outside their bedroom, they heard shuffling and muffled voices. Chakotay glanced at the chronometer.

“Sounds like everyone’s up. We still need to finish packing,” he said. 

Kathryn reluctantly released her husband and got up to put on her robe, pausing to pull her hair into a ponytail before following Chakotay downstairs.

In the dining room, breakfast was already on the table, along with Sekaya, Takoda, their children and Tom. Tom and Sekaya were face down on the table, the former groaning softly.

“Good morning,” Kathryn said. Tom groaned louder, putting his hands over his ears, while her sister-in-law whimpered. Takoda and the children chirped back a greeting.

Gretchen and B’Elanna, holding Miral, entered the dining room, Gretchen setting down a pot of coffee and two hyposprays on the table before greeting the couple.

“Morning. The Doctor sent hyposprays,” B’Elanna said, her smirk directed at her husband.

At the mention of hyposprays Tom instantly sat up, eyes quickly locating the aforementioned item. He gratefully pressed the hypospray to his neck, the hiss marking the return of colour to his face.

“Thank you, Doctor. You’re a lifesaver,” he said out loud. 

Takoda administered the second hypospray to his wife, and Sekaya sat up, blinking slowly.

“Seems like your sister is in no state to see you off today,” Gretchen said, “Imani and the boys send their love.”

Kathryn snorted. She sympathised with Sekaya, but not her ringleader sister. Chakotay of course was the opposite, already teasing his sister as he sat down to breakfast beside her.

***

The newlyweds arrived at the Seville transport station late in the evening, the dinner crowd just starting when they made their way to their lodgings.

They booked a small hotel near the centre of town, the friendly owner showing them to their room before leaving the couple alone. The room was spacious, equipped with a sitting area, small kitchenette and replicator. Kathryn let out a surprised, “Oh!” upon discovering the tub in the bathroom. The little balcony overlooked the hotel’s courtyard garden, allowing for more privacy and quiet compared to the rooms facing the street.

Chakotay dropped their bags and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Kathryn, are you hungry? Imani gave us a list of places for dinner,” he said, bending over to unzip his bag.

As he rummaged, Kathryn shut the balcony door and pulled the curtains. When he straightened up, padd in hand, Kathryn had sauntered over to him.

She straddled him, “I’m not hungry.”

Chakotay dropped the padd beside him and slid his hands around her waist, drawing circles around the small of her back.

“We could replicate something,” he suggested, although he’d already sensed change in her mood.

Kathryn rolled her eyes, “I’ve eaten my weight in food these last few days. We, Captain, have not had sex for a week. An entire week,” she rolled her hips at her last sentence, her eyes never leaving his.

The bolt of arousal shot through Chakotay. He couldn’t deny the woman staring down at him with molten desire, her fingers already unbuttoning his shirt.

“You were counting?” he teased, lifting her blouse over her head.

***

She woke up in bed alone. She stretched, and when her hands passed over the empty space next to her, the cool sheets told her how long he’d been awake.

“Good morning,” came a voice.

Kathryn sat up slowly, spotting Chakotay at the replicator. Noticing he was fully dressed, she frowned.

“Coffee. Black,” he said. The hum of the replicator was rapidly replaced by the scent of coffee.

Chakotay walked towards the bed, offering the coffee to her before sitting down beside her. She gratefully took a sip of the steaming beverage.

“So, I thought maybe we could start with a walk around town, there’s a few historical places and museums nearby that would keep us occupied until lunchtime.”

“Or, we could just stay here,” Kathryn said, running her free hand up and down his arm.

Chakotay made a noise between a chuckle and a groan, gently grabbing the hand caressing him, “We haven’t left this room since we got here two days ago, Kathryn. I love you and I love having sex with you, but we should make the most of our honeymoon.”

She pouted, “We are. In here.”

Her husband rolled his eyes, picking up her robe draped on the bedside table. He took her coffee mug and replaced it with the robe, “Come on, up and at it, Admiral.” He kissed her and rose from the bed.

She tried to give him a withering stare, but she knew he was right. She placed the robe back on the bedside table, pulled the covers off and climbed out of bed, strolling to the bathroom naked. She heard her husband groan again.


	12. April

Admiral Janeway sat before the panel of Admirals. They were the same panel she had met with not long ago, but now included several other Admirals who were not present before.

Hayes drummed his fingers against the table, “We’ve reviewed your resubmitted request, Janeway. At your insistence and that of several of my colleagues here.”

Janeway glanced around, noting the slight upturn in the corner of Nechayev’s mouth at Hayes’ introduction.

“It appears you have certainly been busy,” Hayes continued, “Formalising your relationship with Captain Chakotay, for one.”

She could see Admiral Aly getting impatient. “Will you please get on with it, Hayes, my ship leaves shortly,” she huffed.

Hayes gave Aly a sideways glance. Once a windbag, always a windbag, Kathryn thought.

“We have approved your request to join your husband on the Federation starship Voyager,” he said.

Janeway’s stoic reaction would have made Tuvok proud, “Thank you, sir.”

“I’m not finished yet. Your duties and remit as an Admiral remain as they are,” Hayes said.

“Aye, sir.”

“You will not have any involvement in Voyager’s missions or orders unless expressly instructed by myself.”

“Aye, sir.”

“Depending on Voyager’s location, you may be required to be involved in separate diplomatic missions as and when the occasion arises.”

“Aye, sir.”

“Well then, if there are no other questions or objections, this meeting is adjourned,” Hayes finished, looking pointedly at Aly, who was already halfway out her seat.

“Thank you, sir. And thank you all,” Janeway said. The Admirals rose to leave, as did Janeway. She waited as they filed out one by one, and she caught Nechayev’s kind eyes, the older woman nodding subtly.

As soon as the room emptied, she let her concealed joy soar. She couldn’t wait to tell Chakotay.

***

Kathryn fidgeted impatiently in her seat. She sighed.

“How much longer, Chakotay?” she groused.

Her husband chuckled, “Another fifteen minutes, promise.”

She huffed, reaching up to scratch the bridge of her nose, currently partly covered by a blindfold. Chakotay suggested she don her uniform this morning, and after she did so he pulled the scarf over her and led her downstairs. She felt the tingling of the transporter and then she was carefully seated. The hum of a shuttle told her they were headed somewhere, but she couldn’t tell whether they were still on Earth or headed to space.

“I hope there weren’t any Starfleet personnel between the transporter and where I’m sitting, Captain,” she grumbled.

“I didn’t know you were a stickler for decorum, Admiral.”

“I’m simply considering my dignity being guided around Starfleet like this.”

Chakotay didn’t answer, instead she heard him tap on the console. From the sounds she suspected Chakotay was landing the shuttle. She felt the thud of the shuttle’s struts hitting a surface, then Chakotay guided for her to stand up. She hears him tap his combadge.

“Two to transport.”

For the second time that day she felt the shimmer of the transporter. When she remateralised she raised a hand in search for Chakotay. She quickly felt his hand on her shoulder, and the blindfold came off.

Her eyes took a few seconds to adjust from darkness to light, and she let out a soft, “Oh.”

She looked around Voyager’s newly refitted bridge. It was shiny, devoid of the bumps and scratches of its seven year journey. She wandered around, passing her fingers over the consoles at the helm, tactical, ops, science and engineering. She gazed at the Captain and First Officer’s seats for a few seconds, turning to Chakotay.

Chakotay grinned, “Thought you might like the private tour.”

She glanced behind him at the viewscreen, where she could see Voyager was still docked on Utopia Planitia.

Kathryn placed her hands on her hips, “Abusing Captain’s privileges already, are we?”

Chakotay laughed this time, stepping towards her and taking a hand from her hip.

“Want to see the ready room?” he asked. She nodded, letting him lead her down the familiar steps towards her old sanctuary.

The ready room looked new, yet exactly as it was before, and she briefly recalled all that had happened inside these four walls; the good, the bad and the ugly. The space no longer belonged to her, and she was struck with a bittersweet pang, along with the knowledge ‘her’ ship was in good hands.

She turned to Chakotay, “So, where is the Admiral’s office?”

He raised an eyebrow, “There’s an office near the science labs, and a secure, encrypted subspace channel for the Admiral’s use at all times. I am sorry to say It’s not as big as the Captain’s ready room.”

She pouted, “The sacrifices of a Starfleet spouse.”

Chakotay grinned, taking her hand again, “We can have a look at your office later. How about the Captain’s quarters?”

Before Kathryn could respond the door chimed.

“Come,” Chakotay called.

The door hissed open and Commander Paris stepped in.

“Admiral, Captain. I see Captain Chakotay’s giving you the private tour.”

Kathryn smiled at the younger man, “What are you doing here, Tom? Aside from playing accomplice.”

“The Captain did need a little help with his surprise, and I had a few things I needed to do here anyway. It’s just the three of us onboard right now,” Tom said, grinning.

“I was just about to show her our quarters,” Chakotay said.

Tom smiled, “That’s one that probably still looks the same. We’ve changed the configuration of some for crew with families.”

Chakotay turned to Kathryn, “My old quarters looks nothing like it used to be.”

She chuckled, “I can imagine.”

“Well,” Tom said, “I just stopped by to say hello, and I need to check on some equipment in the cargo hold so if you’ll excuse me. Enjoy the rest of the tour, Admiral,” he finished, leaving the ready room.

Chakotay patted Kathryn’s arm, and they headed out to the turbolifts towards the Captain’s quarters.

As they walked silently along the corridors, Kathryn’s couldn’t help but run her fingers across the bulkheads, reminiscing.

Finally they reached their quarters, and Chakotay keyed in the entry code. He called for lights as they stepped through the door.

Kathryn sucked in a breath. She hadn’t been back on Voyager since she and B’Elanna were kidnapped, and the sight of her old quarters brought back strong memories of lonely nights, candlelit dinners, fierce arguments and wine-soaked evenings. She briefly found Chakotay’s hand to squeeze it, before letting go to wander around, lightly brushing her fingers against the new furniture, tables and replicator. She sent the replicator a silent message, hoping to have a better relationship with it than the last one.

She wandered to the bedroom, peeking into the updated bathroom, grateful they still kept the tub, before her eyes fell on the bed she would no longer occupy alone. Chakotay was leaning against the doorway, watching her.

Kathryn didn’t say anything. She took several steps to reach her husband, wrapping her arms around his waist, his coming up around her shoulders. 


	13. May

B’Elanna turned when she heard a gentle tap from the back door. Kathryn stood outside, precariously balancing a rather large cake in her hands. She quickly placed the wooden spoon she was holding into the bowl of salad on the kitchen counter, hurrying over to open the door. 

Kathryn followed B’Elanna to the counter and placed the cake on the table. From where the two women stood, they could see Miral playing on the floor of the living room, babbling to herself.

Kathryn grimaced, “We could feed an entire starship crew for a month. My mother’s still making brownies next door, by the way.”

B’Elanna surveyed her overladen kitchen counter. “I’ll tell Tom and Chakotay to set up a third table outside.”

She strode towards the threshold of the still-open back door, bellowing instructions to the two men in the garden. Tom shouted back something unintelligible which didn’t please B’Elanna, who stepped outside, shouting a response as she scurried towards him.

Kathryn rounded the kitchen counter to the living room and called, “Miral.”

The toddler looked up from the toy in her hands, spotted Kathryn and cried, “_‘Ita_!”

Kathryn smiled as Miral waved her arms in the air, asking to be picked up. She lifted and cuddled Miral, kissing her soundly, emitting a squeal from her beloved granddaughter.

“Shall we go see what everyone is up to outside?” Kathryn asked, passing through the doors and down the patio steps. 

Tom and Chakotay had set up a small play area and streamers around the fences. Two tables, soon to be three, sat off to the side. One table was already laden with a variety of food, as B’Elanna hurried past Kathryn back to the kitchen.

Miral watched her mother’s retreating back before turning her head the other way. Seeing her father, she let out a, “_Papa_!”

Tom made a funny face at his daughter, before disappearing back under the third table where Chakotay’s legs were sticking out.

The gate at the side entry to the garden opened. Harry, the Doctor, Seven, Tuvok and T’Pel trooped in. Tom peered out from under the lopsided table.

“Reinforcements! Harry! We need a little help here,” he called.

Harry jogged towards Tom, placing the bottles of wine he carried in a box on one of the tables. He joined Tom and Chakotay under the table. 

The Doctor, Seven and Tuvok also put down their respective boxes of drinks, greeting the others just as B’Elanna and Gretchen appeared, carrying food-laden plates and bowls. T’Pel glided up to take some of the burden away from Gretchen, placing it on a table.

Gretchen surveyed one of the half-filled tables, “Plenty more where all this came from.”

Kathryn passed Miral to the Doctor, following Gretchen, B’Elanna and Tuvok back to the house.

Chakotay, Tom and Harry crawled out from under the third table, satisfied that it was set up properly. The three then helped Seven and T’Pel unload the drinks they had brought.

***

Tom stood under a tree nursing his beer, watching the crowd of people in his garden. Miral had promptly fallen asleep several hours into the party, and she was currently wrapped in a sling on his mother’s front.

The Voyager crew had collectively balked at a formal Starfleet do to celebrate their first year home. Admiral Janeway and Captain Chakotay stepped into the fray, arguing the faded spotlight since their burst through the transwarp conduit, and Voyager’s imminent return to service in a few weeks. 

Starfleet brass had mostly fallen for the excuse, giving Tom the opportunity to organise a casual gathering since the Admiral and Captain’s wedding. Miral’s birthday served as the perfect opportunity to celebrate amongst themselves.

He continued scanning the garden. About half the crew had reassigned back to Voyager, the other half choosing assignments closer to home and then a few who had left Starfleet. Landing his eyes on Samantha and Naomi Wildman, it saddened him a little that he wouldn’t see Samantha at the bridge’s science station, or Naomi wandering the decks. He would miss poker nights with Chapman, Hickman and Henley. He probably wouldn’t miss Chell’s cooking, though he imagined he could miss the Bolian’s chatty nature. His brow crinkled, probably not, now that he was the ship’s first officer.

“What are you thinking about?” B’Elanna asked, sauntering up to Tom. She wrapped her arms around him and turned to face their friends and family. He draped his free arm around her shoulders.

“You know, we’re not all going to be together like this for a while.”

B’Elanna looked up at him, “Is Commander Paris getting all nostalgic and misty-eyed? You’re as bad as Chakotay. Are you two rubbing off on each other already?”

He pinched his wife’s shoulder, “Hey, I’m allowed that. All the danger aside, that was the most I’d felt at home. And I met you.”

They watched as Admiral Janeway extricated a now-awake Miral from his mother. Kathryn put Miral down, holding a hand as the toddler steadied herself on her feet. Miral pulled Kathryn’s hand, leading her towards Harry. She and Harry exchanged brief words before erupting with laughter, and Harry took Miral’s free hand. Miral let go of Kathryn and toddled beside Harry towards a table. He lifted her so she could survey the sugary treats, and she pointed at something which Harry immediately picked up, holding it to her as she took a bite.

As Miral happily chewed on what appeared to be a doughnut, B’Elanna nudged Tom, “I think it’s time for cake before she blackmails everyone into feeding her the entire dessert table.”

Tom laughed, guiding them forward.

***

Kathryn placed the last of the items she was taking with her into her Starfleet issue bag. Hoisting the strap over her shoulder, she climbed down the stairs, dropping the bag on the floor next to the couch.

She noticed the door to hers and Chakotay’s shared office was open, his own bag resting atop his table. Wandering inside, she looked at his desk, now pristine with only his comm terminal, everything else either packed in his bag or hidden away.

Her eyes fell on the open bag. On top of his medicine bundle lay a framed holoimage of their wedding day, the one he kept on his desk. Their gazes were locked on each other, oblivious to the person who had taken the holoimage. She could read both their emotions in that moment, open and flowing with the love and respect they had for each other, a far cry from the days of furtive looks and stolen glances. She stroked a finger over his face.

She picked up the holoimage, walked out of the office and dropped it in her bag.

***

Voyager glided on impulse, two days into its journey towards open space. 

Captain Chakotay and Commander Paris walked through Voyager’s decks, a stack of padds in the first officer’s hands as they made their way to Engineering.

“Next month’s duty shifts need your approval, Captain,” Paris said, passing a padd to him,

Chakotay glanced through the padd, placing his thumbprint on it.

“Are we on schedule to go to warp at 1000 hours?” he asked.

Commander Paris gestured at the doors to Engineering, “We’re about to find out.”

Engineering’s doors hissed open to a hive of activity, the hum of the warp core drowned out by voices and scurrying of boots. Most of Voyager’s old crew nodded at their commanding officers, but the new crewmembers had snapped to attention. Chakotay waved his hand, indicating for them to carry on as they were.

“Lieutenant Nicoletti, have you seen Commander Torres?” Tom asked.

Before Susan could answer, Torres’ barking instructions from the second level carried to where they were standing. The two men looked up.

“Commander Torres,” Chakotay called.

Torres looked around, searching for the voice that called her. She spotted Chakotay and Tom, climbing down one of the ladders to join them at ground level. 

“Everything ready down here?” Chakotay asked as Torres joined them.

She looked around, “Warp core and systems all within functioning parameters, sir. We’re ready when you are.”

“Good. I expect a report from Engineering tomorrow morning,” Chakotay said.

“Yes, sir, it will be on your desk first thing,” Torres replied, the ghost of a smile twitching.

Paris looked around, “We’ll leave you to it, then, Commander.”

Torres was back to giving out instructions before Chakotay and Paris turned their backs.

The doors to Engineering shut behind the command team, placing them in the quiet of the corridors. They passed several crew as they made their way to their next destination, the new ones snapping to attention like those at Engineering. Chakotay again waved them off several times.

Paris rolled his eyes, “You would think they’d be used to us by now.”

“It might take a while, Commander,” Chakotay grinned.

“Hopefully before they sprain something,” the first officer muttered, still uncomfortable with the formality.

They arrived at their final stop, Tom pressing the chime to Admiral Janeway’s office. 

The door hissed open and they stepped through.

Admiral Janeway stood, “Captain, Commander, doing your rounds?” She rounded her desk, leaning against it.

“Aye, Admiral. Just seeing how you’re settling into your new office,” Paris said.

Janeway looked around, “It’s more than adequate, thank you Tom.”

“I thought I might give you this while we’re here,” Tom said, holding out a padd.

Kathryn took the padd from him, glancing briefly at it before rolling her eyes. Tom grinned, his cheeky smile reaching his eyes.

“Childminding shifts, Commander?” Kathryn chuckled.

Chakotay and Tom laughed.

“Hey, we’ll need a break every now and then, Admiral,” Tom said.

“How’s Miral doing?” Kathryn asked.

Tom shrugged. “So far so good. She’s had time to get used to Kula,” he said, referring to the Klingon childcaring hologram.

“I’ll take her for a walk around the ship after my shift. And I’ve got the holodeck booked in a few days for us to go swimming,” Kathryn said.

“She’s always happy to spend time with you, Admiral. I’d best get going, Doc’s due to give me an update before we leave,” Tom said, excusing himself from the Captain and Admiral.

Chakotay picked up a framed holoimage from Kathryn’s desk just as the doors closed after Tom.

“I was wondering where this went,” he said, waving the holoimage that once graced his desk at home.

Kathryn pursed her lips, entirely unapologetic, “What’s yours is mine…”

He placed the holoimage back on her desk, turning to cup her chin, “You’re impossible, Kathryn.”

Her eyes twinkled, “You wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Chakotay chuckled, quickly kissing her, “I’ve got to get back to the bridge. See you at dinner?”

“Mmm, yes, what are we having?” she purred, just as he took two steps towards the door.

He turned back to her, grinning widely, “I’m definitely not going to miss force feeding you a proper meal on this ship.”

She laughed, shooing him out of her office.

***

Chakotay stepped through the turbolift doors on to the bridge.

“Captain on the bridge!” Harry called.

He acknowledged Harry and Sue at their stations, rounding the steps to join Tom. B’Elanna stood at the bridge’s engineering station to his right. The rest of the crew stood ramrod straight, and when he met Paris’ eyes there was a hint of a smirk.

“At ease,” Chakotay said. He turned towards the Captain’s chair, recalling a conversation he had with Kathryn when they beamed aboard several days ago. Alone together on the bridge, they stood facing the captain's chair.

_ “This is going to feel odd.” _

_ “Have you even tried it yet, Chakotay?” Kathryn asked. _

_ He looked at her, “Well, no.” _

_ Kathryn snorted, “This ship is yours now, Captain,” She nudged him towards the Captain’s chair, urging him to sit down. _

_ When he finally did, she asked, “How does it feel?” _

_ “Like it’s someone else’s,” he replied. _

_ His wife knelt in front of him, taking his hands, “It isn’t.” _

Chakotay took two steps towards the chair, then turned to sit down, Paris following suit next to him. 

“Ensign Chandra?” he asked.

The pilot turned towards her console, “Warp core online, shields at maximum. Course laid in, heading 470 mark 35. At warp seven we will reach the Xintari nebula in five days.”

“Engage,” he said.

***

Kathryn looked up from her desk when she heard the telltale increased hum of the warp core. She gazed out the viewport, catching the moment when Voyager jumped to warp. Her eyes flicked down to the two holoimages gracing her desk - one of Miral at her birthday, chocolate frosting smeared all over her mouth; the other the wedding holoimage pilfered from her husband.

She smiled contentedly, turning back to her stack of padds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One line unashamedly borrowed from Avengers: Endgame.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
